Researchers have found people who live near the Three Mile Island nuclear plant show no significant increase in cancer more than 38 years after the accident. The locals were so delighted by the news, they exchanged high fins. 

A study claims men with big biceps live longer. As a result, I would like to extend my condolences on the inevitably soon passing of Eric Trump and Ryan Seacrest. 

Two properties with the Trump name have removed his name. Even worse for Trump, they are replacing it with the name Hillary.