Wednesday, July 19, 2017

The rumor is OJ Simpson’s parole hearing could be cancelled because he was caught masturbating. This story is not true. It is fake spews.

That means the only jerk-off in the news is still Donald Trump Jr.

This could also hurt sales of “The Juice is Loose” t-shirts.


A “People” article claims Donald Trump Jr. is miserable since his father became president. On the bright side, Don Jr. got one right on a Name The US President’s test. 


Chris Christie catches a foul ball at the Mets game and gets booed. In retrospect, maybe he shouldn't have eaten the ball.

They have finally identified the eighth person at the Donald Trump Jr. Russian meeting. It was Jeffie Covfefy. 

Sales of Caitlyn Jenner’s book, “The Secrets of My Life,” are not good. It is in the discount bin with Donald Trump Jr.’s, “The Art of the Russian Deal,” and Hillary Clinton’s “Political Success Using Humility.” 

The rumor is OJ Simpson’s parole hearing could be cancelled because he was caught masturbating. This story is not true. If he did not choke the bird, his parole should be heard.

If he did not five-knuckle-shuffle, he did not cause a kerfuffle.

**** NBC has launched a news service called, “Stay Tuned,” on Snapchat. This is perfect for covering stories that are ten-seconds long, like our president’s attention span.

**** A betting investigation believes some of the matches at Wimbledon were fixed. It is so corrupt, Wimbledon could become a subsidiary of FIFA. 

Looking back, it was a little unusual when Serena Williams won three matches and she is out being pregnant.

Can’t those damn Russians stay out of anything?

Since you asked:

There is a TV show I am familiar with on cable that is currently being watched by 200,000* of the only demographic advertisers care about, 18-49. This show charges the standard national cable $25,000 for a 30 second commercial. (These numbers are educated guesses)

If I am In-N-Out Burger, with the vast majority of my restaurants in California, and I advertise on that show, each person watching in California would have to spend a minimum of $5 each at In-N-Out for me to break even for running that commercial. (Not including production costs) 

There are many things I do not understand, how aircraft carriers float; how light bulbs go on; how ten lanes of California 405 freeway can be stopped dead in both directions, and how one million people don’t suddenly decide to show up at Dan Tana’s restaurant any given night. 

But I really do not understand how a show with a rumored budget of $70 million - about a tad less than half of that is staff salary and a tad less than half of that staff salary is the star's salary -  that is seen by 200,000 people, ages 18-49, can stay in business. 

*The most recent Nielson ratings were much lower than that, but because it was the 4th of July and they were showing reruns, we will give them the benefit of the doubt.