This here my Wally dog. Check out those eyelashes.

Forget dizzy-up the girl, you gotta cuddle-up the dog, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

V.P. Mike Pence got a dog, Harley. The dog is perfect for Pence, it only humps straight people’s legs.

On her last flight, Carrie Fisher was on cocaine, heroin and ecstasy. And I can’t get the flight attendant to leave me the can of soda. 

In a decision involving the Washington Redskins, the Supreme Court ruled a company can have an offensive name. So good news for the Gargle My Nards Bar and Grill.

In a decision involving the Washington Redskins, the Supreme Court ruled a company can have an offensive name. So good news for the Tickle My Taint Paint Co. 

There is a new version of the bible with updated language. But I think they went too far when they referred to the father, son and the holizzy ghozizzy. 

Kim Kardashian is under criticism for appearing almost in black face in a KKW makeup ad. Even former white NAACP head, Rachel Dolezal, said, “Stay in your lane, girl.”

According to a survey, the most sexually satisfied women in the country are in Los Angeles. “The pleasure is mine,” said Bill Cosby.

Singer Lorde is under fire for comparing her friendship to Taylor Swift to having an auto-immune disease. Whereas Katy Perry said being friends with Taylor was more like having the runs.

In a decision involving the Washington Redskins, the Supreme Court ruled a company can have an offensive name. So more good news for Bill Cosby Productions. 

Ex-New England Patriot lineman, Ryan O’Callaghan, has come out as gay. O’Callaghan said he once feared shame, rejection and humiliation. Not for being gay, he was almost traded to the Cleveland Browns. 

Since you asked:

Heaven knows I loves me some Padres announcer,  Mark "Mudcat" Grant. And I am a Cubs fan.  But if Rizzo V. Hedges was a Padre trying to score against the Cubs? Mark would have called it what it was: a good, hard-nosed play. 

Hedges was covering 3/4 of the plate. It is not Rizzo's job to adroitly avoid the catcher, it is his job to try and score. Like my boy Rizzbone said later, if the catcher is holding the ball, it is game on.

Sorry, Mudcat, love how you’re protecting your Dadres so close to father’s day, but you got this one as wrong as a Kardashian on “Jeopardy.” Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial wrong. Bill Maher using the N-word wrong. Anything Justin Bieber does wrong.