Thursday, June 15, 2017

Yesterday was Donald Trump’s 71st birthday. He celebrated by playing Pin The Tail on The Comey. 

There is a new version of the bible with updated language. The Lord’s Prayer says, “Deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and power and the covfefe forever.” 

At the US Open in Wisconsin, a one-man blimp crashed and burned, luckily the pilot escaped. However the blimp, the Spirit of Tiger Woods, was totaled. 

There is a new version of the bible with updated language. It refers to the father, the son and the homey ghost. 

There is a new version of the bible with updated language. But it might have gone too far when it called Judas a Frenemy.

A sailor who had gone missing on the USS Shiloh and caused a massive man-overboard search, has been found hiding a week later. His name is sailor, 3rd Class Peter Mims. Now he is sailor 3rd Class ass-is-grass. 

The jury in the Bill Cosby trial say they are deadlocked. Although Bill Cosby keeps demanding they call themselves hung like him. 

Since you asked:

The dead man’s hand. Aces and eights, all black, spades and clubs. Held by Wild Bill Hickok when he was shot in the back by the coward, Jack McCall, in Deadwood. Can’t you just smell the pine tree mountain air, oak wood smoke, gunpowder and spilt whisky?  

My three main loves growing up were comedy, playing running back in football and the Decathlon. Consequently three of my many idols were, in order, Bill Cosby, OJ Simpson and Bruce Jenner. How am I doing so far?

Why so much comic venom at all things Jenner and Kardashian? In my mind there is no way you can hear about some tantrum thrown by a rude, entitled brat without drawing a straight line to Kris Jenner or Kim Kardashian. 

On “KUWTK” when the Jendashians are vacationing at a resort in the Caribbean and endlessly arguing and whining over who hurt who’s feelings while eating lobsters and swilling champagne, that has an impact on their fellow simple minds. (Begrudgingly Kris Jenner is anything but simple-minded. She is a modern day marketing genius. Yes, we throw genius around too much. But anyone who can make that much money with, not little talent, no talent, is a type of genius) 

Even though they did not win the Stanley Cup, a strong congratulations to the Nashville Predators and their organization. They are the anti-San Diego Chargers.

They took a non-hockey college football town and turned them into fanatics just by hard work and smart marketing. Partly because hockey is such a great sport and they knew, if exposed correctly, the awesome Vanderbilt fans would convert.

The Predators pooled their considerable resources in country music and got to know their fans on a grass roots level. Now they have a contending team and a loyal fan base. 

Conversely, the lazy, fat and stupid Chargers owner, Dean Spanos, is renting a little City of Carson soccer field and he has the utter contempt of all former Charger fans.