Sunday, June 18, 2017

At the Golden State Warriors victory parade, coach Steve Kerr forgot to mention star, Steph Curry. That is when you know a team is stocked. When the anyone in “Did I forget anyone?” is the second best player in the league.

They are getting it did, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Donald Trump described Camp David as rustic. Remember, rustic for Trump means he gave his personal tooth-brusher, Christoph, the night off.

Golfers Rory McIlroy and Steve Elkington are talking trash. Well, golf trash-talking which is, “Your mother, while a lovely woman, is often late with her Thank You notes.” 

Some in Dallas are wondering if Ezekiel Elliot could be a better running back than Emmitt Smith? Elliott is certainly the best running back with his own, obnoxiously self-aggrandizing “feed me” gesture. 

Chicago Cub, Jason Hayward, cut his hand sliding into foul territory in Pittsburgh. Although some harsher critics might describe foul territory in Pittsburgh as redundant.  

Donald Trump’s attorney, Jay Sekulow, said Trump is not under investigation. Sekulow is one of the attorneys Trump’s attorney, Mike Cohen hired. Trump’s lawyer lawyered up. You don’t wear Depends and rubber pants if you’re not expecting a poop storm. 

Former heavyweight champion, Lennox Lewis, said the Mayweather-McGregor fight is ridiculous. “Wow, that is fascinating,” said the year 1992. 

Belgium has a beer for dogs, Snuffle Beer. Love their motto: 

"With Snuffle beer, Fido can drink a hairless chihuahua into a poodle."

Unsigned national anthem-kneeling NFL QB, Colin Kaepernick, compared police to fugitive slave hunters. There were no further comments issued by Kaepernick’s publicist, Kathy Griffin.

Look, Colin, if you do not want to play football anymore, just say so. 

A dating website ranked the most promiscuous cities in the world and Paris was #2. What was #1? Humpy McHumptown, Australia?

Actually, the #1 most promiscuous city is whichever city has the most Kardashians in it.

Unsigned NFL QB, Colin Kaepernick, compared police to runaway slave hunters. It is official, Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher now have better chances of signing with an NFL team than Kaepernick.