A 140-pound mastiff was named winner of the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest. So congratulations to the dog named Steve Bannon.

It is the one-year anniversary of when a bear broke into a Washington campsite and drank 36 beers and passed out. Who could have guessed, a year later, that bear would be the White House Chief Strategist, Steve Bannon.

(Bam. Two Steve Bannon jokes) 

A survey claims 73% of democrats would abstain from alcohol for life if it meant Donald Trump was kicked out of office. Until then they will keep drinking Impeach Schnapps. 

A phony “Time” magazine with Trump on the cover hangs in six of Donald Trump’s golf clubhouses. Democrats complain it provides visitors with fake views.

Kris Jenner told “The Hollywood Reporter” she was with Nicole Simpson when she bought the famous gloves. Kris even helped Nicole write the note to OJ: “With this gift so nice, please, my throat don’t slice.” 

Portland held its annual Naked Bike Ride Day. Which was followed by Buy Medicated Skin Cream Day.

This week was the annual Portland Naked Bike Ride Day. Their slogan: “For Oregon we bare our organs.” 

Nina Skye, a 21-year-old porn actress, was fired from her job as an L.A. Christian pre-school teacher. Today the father’s dropped off their children while wearing black armbands. 

Nina Skye, a 21-year-old porn actress, was fired from her job as an L.A. pre-school teacher. Many fathers worry the “Happy Ending Day Care” will never be the same.

Since you asked:

Could not believe my ears when I heard Cub catcher, Miguel Montero, throw his pitcher, Jake Arrieta, under the bus for the seven bases stolen on him. Now, I’m not an expert on baseball, but I am pretty sure it is the catcher who has to throw out the runner, not the pitcher.

Time for Miguel not to throw out runners for another team. He has to go. Even if it was all Jake’s fault - which it wasn’t - you don’t air out your poopy diaper in front of the press. 

(Great minds. No sooner did I post this than the Cubbies, bless their hearts, listed Montero "designated for assignment." Which is baseball P.C. for don't let the door smack yah where the good lord cracked yah)

Before anyone starts to feel sorry for "Biggy  Mouth" Miggy, you and I have thrown out just as many baserunners as $14 mil-a-year, 0-31 Montero. And now he gets a free flight to Iowa. 

Treas. Sec. and billionaire, Steve Mnuchin, got married for the third time. Ever notice it is only filthy rich guys who get married three times, like Trump? You never go to Starbucks and ask Cooper-the-barista what he’s doing this weekend and have him answer, “Oh, I’m getting married for the third time.” 


People got they knickers in a twist over John McEnroe not apologizing for saying Serena Williams would rank 700th among men. 

Folks, it's called an opinion. And just because someone has an opinion that is different than someone else's does not mean they have to apologize to the entitled dipwads. 

Although the greatest female player, never been a big fan of Serena. (Unlike her sister, Venus, whom I think is wonderful) Serena is snippy to the press, linesman and judges. And she has cursed out ball girls. And she is clearly on 'roids. 

P.S. This is the woman who angrily demanded John McEnroe respect her privacy during her pregnancy.