Monday, December 19, 2016

In a “TMZ” poll of 70,000 voted good riddance to 2016. And those are just the guys Taylor Swift broke up with.

In New Jersey, twin brothers were arrested for stealing 180 bars of Dove soap. If they plead guilty, the D.A. will wash his hands of the case.

Blac Chyna broke up with Rob Kardashian. Damn those evil Russian hackers.

Zsa Zsa Gabor passed at 99. For those not familiar, she was like an early Kardashian but with a lot more Zsa.

The NFL announced it will not fine Ezekiel Elliott for jumping into the Salvation Army giant red kettle in the Cowboy end zone. They figured it would not be fair since they did not fine the Cleveland Browns for jumping into the toilet. 

The NFL will not fine Elliott for jumping in the Salvation Army kettle, but if he makes that annoying "Feed Me" gesture again, they will break their foot off in his ass.

Scientists say human males lost their penis bone over time due to monogamy. The reverse of this also explains how Bill Clinton grew back his penis bone. 

In San Bernardino, a thief tried to rob a sex shop with a fake gun and was thwarted when two women threw dildos at him. This crime is going into the Freudian Imagery Hall of Fame.

Since you asked:

For my fellow “Almost Famous” fans. Billy Crudup’s Russell Hammond was a composite of the following:

Glenn Frey said, “Just make us look cool,” and was a genuine mentor to the young Cameron Crowe on the road. He also took acid at a fan’s party in the Midwest. He also had a non-ending poker game on the road. 

Robert Plant screamed, “I am a golden god,” before jumping off a roof into a pool.

Greg Allman- whacked out on drugs - threw a fit and accused Crowe of being a cop.

Neil Young denied a Crowe story to “Rolling Stone” and then recanted. 

Jimmy Page had a torrid on-again/off-again love affair with an underage groupie on the road.