Tuesday, June 21, 2016

You best come correct and step live with your good foot now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

“GOT” spoiler alert. The bad guy, Ramsay Bolton, lost the battle, was brutally beaten and then devoured by his own dogs. And he was fired from the Trump campaign. 

A report reveals Donald Trump recycled $6 mil of campaign money to his companies. So the people who donated money to Trump’s campaign aren’t just getting screwed, their getting screwed is getting screwed. 

Donald Trump is being sued for stealing tips from waiters at Trump Soho. Even from the bowels of prison, Bernie Madoff said, “Dude, that is low.” 

London has opened a naked restaurant called Bunyadi. The good news? We can seat you right away. The bad news? You are following the Trump/Christie party. 

“Game of Thrones” spoiler alert. How about Jon Snow beating the hell out of Ramsay Bolton? The only way it could have been even better if Snow was beating up Michael Bolton too. 

“Game of Thrones” spoiler alert. How about that battle of the bastards? The best part? Cleveland finally won the championship. 

Khloe Kardashian now believes OJ Simpson is her father. And Khloe will continue to believe OJ is her father until the ratings for “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” go back up. 

Since you asked:

It should come as a shock to nobody how cheap Donald Trump is. 

Between growing up in John Hughes’s “Home Alone” town of Winnetka - a girl in my class lived in a mansion with a full staff of English maids and butlers - and working on Wall Street and living in Santa Barbara and La Jolla, for a certified non-rich guy, I have known my share of truly wealthy people. Kennedy-family rich. Donating-wings- to- museums rich. 

And with few exceptions, rich people are incredibly cheap. 

By cheap I mean they don’t pay their share at dinner, they don’t pay their share of cab fare, they do not pick up bar tabs, they walk past bouncers asking for cover charges. John F. Kennedy Jr., RIP, crashed his plane because he did not want to pay for a pilot. 

Most rich people expect to get everything for free, and, as a result, they often do. Rich people feel it is insulting when they have to stoop to pay for things that the rest of us don’t think twice about. 

So when it comes time to pay for normal stuff, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, rich folks hate it. When I belonged to the Downtown Athletic Club some of the members were making $10 mil. a year on Wall Street, and they could not keep that place stocked with soap and towels the members were stealing. (No lie, they started checking our bags when we left right before they went belly-up) 

You want a good barometer of how genuinely cheap rich old white people are? You know those - to coin an OJ term - ugly-ass green jackets the incredibly wealthy members of Augusta give to the Masters champions? The champions have to give those ugly-ass jackets back in one year. Gary Player refused to give his back and the Stinky rich Augusta members were going to ban him except that he was Gary Player, so they couldn’t. 

Beer and food at August is hilariously cheap. Why? Because the rich members hate paying for beers and sandwiches. 

That is how cheap Donald Trump is. 

Zig and Zag.