This just in:

Russia’s track team is banned from the Rio Olympics due to doping. Russian President, Vladimir Putin, was so furious he ripped off his shirt and turned into the Hulk. 

One woman discus thrower was so upset by this news, she nearly ripped out half of her chest hair.

In China, an artist is making a painting using brushes inserted in her vagina. The name of the painting? “Third Base.”

Lin-Manuel Miranda, the star and creator of “Hamilton,” is leaving the show on July 9th. Kelly Ripa is so pissed at him.

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In Atlanta, Herman Cain introduced Donald Trump by saying Trump is not a racist. Trump then said, “Thank you, Bill Cosby.”