A study claims Florida has the worst drivers while New York has the rudest. Or something like that, I couldn’t hear it well on my car radio because of all the gunfire exchanged on the LA freeway. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to have my 405 road rage gunshot wound attended to. 

A study claims Florida has the worst drivers while New York has the rudest. The writer ended the study when an L.A. driver ran him off the road with his Tesla. 

This weekend, Bernie Sanders’s press secretary left the campaign. It was sad. Bernie yelled, “Who needs you? I can talk to Western Union by myself.” 

This weekend, Bernie Sanders’s press secretary left the campaign. It was sad. He took his stone tablets and chisels with him. 

In Euro 2016, Iceland defeated England 2-1. Afterwards England voted to ban ice. 

A parrot may be brought in to testify in a Detroit murder case. The case is “The People Vs. Polly who may or may not want a cracker.” 

30 people were treated for burned feet at a Tony Robbins hot coal walk. In addition, 30 attorneys suffered strained hamstrings sprinting after those 30 people. 

If, god forbid, video emerges of Donald Trump harming kittens. Trump’s followers would applaud Trump for standing up to the psycho fanatics in PETA.