Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A high school student hacked the head of the CIA, John Brennan’s,  AOL email account. But luckily for Brennan, the kid stayed away from his fax machine and his beeper.

Did you catch that, folks? The guy in charge of our international security has an AOL email. Sleep well.

The Southwest is going to get hit with serious rain. But we Californians are experiencing weather challenges too. Last night, the temperature got so low, I seriously thought of turning off my ceiling fan.

Donald Trump claims his policies would have prevented the 9/11 attacks. This from a guy whose vodka company went out of business. The only thing easier to sell than vodka is crack. 

Jim Webb is dropping out of the democratic presidential race. He informed all of his followers at their weekly meeting at their corner booth in Applebee’s. 

Webb may re-enter the race as in independent, he has to check with his followers. Both of them. 

Hillary Clinton’s campaign has vowed to put her e-mail scandal behind her and be more humorous and spontaneous. In fact, she is changing her slogan from “Hillary for America” to “Watch Hillary Whip, Watch Hillary Nae-Nae.” 

In fact, by this time next week, Hillary plans to be 25% more humorous and 35% more spontaneous. 

According to a study, more gay Americans are coming out on Facebook. So many gay people are coming out, Facebook will introduce two new functions, the “Like Fiercely” and the "Bitch, Please" buttons. 

University of Louisville basketball recruits say they were entertained by escorts. It brought new meaning to working on their hook shots. 

The owner of the Love Ranch brothel where Lamar Odom fell ill, Dennis Hof, says he will not pay the prostitutes the $75,000 Odom paid because of their possible cocaine use. It certainly is refreshing to see a pimp with such high and strong moral fiber. 

Jeb Bush’s campaign is running a contest where the winner gets to meet Jeb, his brother and his father. They might want to re-think the contest's name, though: “Bush Fest 2015.”

Since you asked:

In my humble opinion - that and a token will get you on the NYC Subway in 1986 - Amy Schumer did not take jokes from Patrice O’Neal. O’Neal did not have domain over the Abraham Lincoln/sex-act/joke or the Houdini. The comedy part is commenting on them and Amy made that her own. And funny. 

There is another female comedian who does a bit on those iconic sex acts as well. (Can’t think of her name right now. She mentions the Houdini only calls it the Poltergeist and then comes up with female sex act names. Liz Mieli. Just remembered her name)

On the other hand, I do think Amy Schumer lifted Wendy Liebman’s; “I’m old fashioned. I think a man should pay on the first date . . . for sex.” That was not only practically word for word, the timing is extremely similar.  

But that is between Amy and Wendy.

The premise of any joke is fair game to be used by anyone. It is public domain. It is the punch line that makes a joke the creator’s. Unless you're telling a specific and personal story. Than the whole thing is yours. 

Just when Khloe Kardashian has everyone’s sympathy over the awful thing that happened to Lamar Odom - a guy everybody seems to like - she gets in a pissing contest over publicity with the sleazy pimp at the whore house. If there are two things Kardashians can never get in a pissing contest about, it is money and publicity. 

What happened to Lamar is about as far as it gets from jumping on a grenade to save your fellow solder’s life, but it is still sad. 

As with Keith Richards when he fell out of the coconut tree, the press gets celebrity injuries way wrong always making them more grievous. Why? Because it sells better. 

Let’s hope that is the case with Lamar Odom.