Saturday, October 17, 2015

Apple was ordered to pay $234 million to the University of Wisconsin on a patent infringement claim. Apple agreed and paid the claim out of the coins in its laundry jar. 

Now that USC coach, Steve Sarkisian has been fired, Notre Dame is going to have to re-think their strategy: having the cheerleaders man an open bar on the sidelines. 

Since you asked:

The Chicago Cubs play the New York Mets in the National League Championship Series. As a die-hard Chicago fan who loved living in New York for several years, I would like to point out some observations about Mets fans.

Let me say that my experiences with New Yorkers was exceptional. In the vast majority of cases, I found New Yorkers to be smart, savvy, gracious and funny as hell. Basically nothing like their image. Yes, there is the accent, but after that, the stereotype of the rude and unfriendly New Yorker is unfair. 

My experience with Mets fans is the opposite. Here is what the average Mets fan looks like:

Mets fans are generally fat, balding, loud, drunk and smelly. 
(My good buddies Jooch and Fideen are the exceptions who prove the rule)

Because I had grown up going to the friendly confines of Wrigley Field, I did not think twice about wearing my Cubs hat to a Mets game in 1984. Huge mistake. One loud-mouthed neanderthal after another swore "F*ck the Cubs" at me - from a very safe distance - and others threw beer - only when I was not looking. 

New York Mets fans suck. They really, really suck. Arguably the vilest human being, inside and out, I have ever had the misfortune to know was a former big-shot Wall Street client of mine, and she was a die-hard Mets fan. She was loathsome in every sense of the word.

Mets fans are Jets fans. They are slobs. They are filth. 

Before the NLCS begins, I get to say a few words as a die-hard Cub fan since 1969. 

First of all, I do not want to hear another word about this goddamn, stupid “Back to the Future” prediction. It is bad juju. Don’t won’t to hear about goats or 1908. They have as much to do with this series as my Aunt Sally’s sciatica. 

What I would like is a genuine and heart-felt apology from the Cubs fans and the entire organization to Steve Bartman. That would be the right thing to do. (And, incidentally, lift some bad jugo while doing it)

Go Cubs.