Double amputee sprinter and girlfriend murderer, Oscar Pistorius, has been released to house arrest with an ankle monitor. Does anyone else see the flaw in this arrangement? 

Republican front-runners, Donald Trump and Dr. Ben Carson, are requesting Secret Service agents. The Secret Service has already picked out Carson and Trump's codenames: the Coma and the Combover. 

One of the Las Vegas hookers hired by Lamar Odom, Bunny Lain, has gone missing. Police have issued an APB.  Absent Prostitute Beckoned. 

Of course, Bunny Lain is not her real name. Her real name is Doctor Bunny Lain.