We up and did us some Wally-walkin’ last night, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The movie, “42” Is out. It is a movie about Jackie Robinson, it is not, repeat, not about the combined weight of the Olsen twins.

It is so cold in New York, former Peter Tweeter, Anthony Weiner couldn’t text a picture of his junk due to shrinkage.

At the Masters, Tiger Woods was penalized two strokes. Tiger had violated rule # 26-1 which states, after going into a water hazard, you must drop the ball where you previously hit it, not closer nor farther back. Tiger later admitted he dropped it two yards back, a clear violation of the 26-1 rule, but was not disqualified due to rule # 33-7 which exempts OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST PLAY GOLF, YOU RULE-SPEWING PEDANTIC DORKS.

Here is my question: why do the a-hole, oxygen-theives who call in with rule violations, why are they allowed to have any impact? They don't have a say in any other sport;

"Hey, Jimmy Johnson didn't use his left turn signal at Daytona, disqualify him." 

A McDonalds executive said their service was broken. This is not a surprise coming from a generation of “service” workers who consider good service when they inform the customer they will be on the phone with their friend for a while and advise them to come back later.

Since you asked:

Look, see, my Windy-Town baby-bears are currently embroiled in a rollicking brouhaha with those Fog-City G’ints in what appears to be a rather robust and challenging conditions that are veritably Norse-like at the normally quite cozy friendly confines of the gum-bums, Wrigley Field. It's a corker, I say. 

The Cubs are 4-6. Are they just two games out? Or are they playing .400? 

Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty? 

Depends.

If you are pouring water in the glass, it is half full. If you are drinking out of a full glass, then the glass is half empty. If you walk into a room and there is a half glass of water, that is half full because you did not know it was there in the first place. 

But what if you have a full glass of water on the table and a space alien designed to look like a shiny California condor smashes through your window, hovers over the glass and lowers a glass straw out of its butt and sucks out half the water back up  its butt? You scream, cool, but who is going to pay for that window?

But the glass is now half-empty. 

Masters official addressing if Tiger Woods got special treatment not to be disqualified:

"The Masters is about integrity and we look at all players the same."

Uh, yeah, except for whole that African Americans and women thang. 

Just from a golfing stand point. Do not forget that Tiger could have had a five stroke swing at the 15th if that shot went in or landed close, as it looked to be doing. Tiger is winning this damn thing if that happens.