Woo and hah hoo

We workin’ the hangry up in here, if you will, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


In England, a judge ruled a man was too stupid to have sex. How is a guy deemed too stupid to have sex? Can’t he count to two minutes?

Somali pirates hijacked an oil tanker with $150 mil. of oil. You know who the pirates are going to try and sell the oil to? Arrrrrrrrrrco.

The Catholic Church has an iPhone app that allows you to confess on the phone; “Forgive me, Father, for I have just ran a stop light and almost hit an old lady.”

Dogs properly trained can detect colon cancer as well as a colonoscopy. Here is my question: who is the poor slob who has to train the dogs? “OK, Fido, this is the last time I’m going to show you.”

The hard part? Properly inserting the milk bone.

A tanning salon has accused Lindsay Lohan of owing them $40,000. If you own a tanning salon, do you really want it known Lindsay Lohan has had $40,000 worth of work done there? Even other drug addicts think Lindsay is too pale.