Welcome back, beautiful, welcome back

Let’s make it hap’n, Cap’n, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A study indicates four seconds of silence is enough to turn a conversation really awkward. Especially if it follows the question: “Are you sure the baby is mine?”

A gorilla in England walks erect on its legs just like a person. Well, maybe more like the person who used to be the Governor of California.

The East got slammed by another snowstorm. Hey, we Californians have our challenges with the weather too; yesterday the sun was so strong I had to go from SPF 40 sunblock up to SPF 60.

Following the arrest of the 130 Northeast mafia members, the FBI is discovering some of these guys aren’t big shots. Like Vinny “Slam Poet” Baggone, Aldo “Olive Garden Lovin’” Pazzoni and Tony “Thinks Snooki’s hot” Attorino.

“Secretariat” is out on DVD. Did you know Secretariat sired 600 colts? The difference between New York Jet Antonio Cromartie - who has nine kids with eight moms - and Secretariat? Secretariat could remember all of his offspring’s names.

Following the arrest of the 130 Northeast mafia members, the FBI is discovering some of these guys aren’t big shots. Like Jerry “Starbucks barista” Fabrozi, Fredo “Dungeons and Dragons “ Carbini and Jimmy “The Civil War Reenactor” Gagalone.

“Jersey Shore” is going to Italy for season 4. Well this should correct the Italian misconception that all America women are sluts.

He’s OK, but Charlie Sheen had to go the hospital for stomach pains. Apparently somebody mistakenly put some tea in his afternoon tea.

Following the arrest of the 130 Northeast mafia members, the FBI is discovering some of these guys aren’t big shots. Like Eddie “Aroma Therapy” Boscone, Frankie “Twilight” saga lover” Panuchi, and Louie “Mango facials” Lucianna.

Since you asked:
Have fallen back in love with quaffing a crisp, cold glass of Chardonnay while scarfing down a plate of tasty Chinese food and watching a movie. It’s up there in the league of a beer in the shower after a hard workout; the pouring a jug of water over your head after surfing and napping under a blanket on the couch while watching baseball or golf.

Man, do I gots dah awesome Led Zep "Boogie with Stu" awesome drum chops stuck in my head:

"I don't want no tutti-frutti no lolipop, come on baby, let's rock, rock, rock."