Friday, February 18, 2011

This right here how you do this right here

Leash it on, throw it in and paddle it out, Torn Slattern and Nugget Ranchers

Have you heard what the number one song is in Libya? “Rock Like and Egyptian.”

There are several reports that O.J. Simpson was severely beaten in prison. The bright side of this story? O.J. Simpson was severely beaten in prison.

Spring training is starting for the New York Yankees. It is very exciting, Cameron Diaz is hand-feeding Alex Rodriguez his performance enhancing drugs.

Did you see those tight silver pants Ricky Martin wore on the Grammys? Martin didn’t just come out of the closet, he came out of Ashley Olsen’s closet wearing her pants.

Billy Ray Cyrus said, if he had it to do all over, he wouldn’t have let his daughter, Miley, do “Hannah Montana” because it hurt their family. Then he took the next Starbucks customer’s coffee order.

A friend of Charlie Sheen says Charlie goes home, gets high and watches porn. Can you really say somebody just watches porn? You watch the news, there is more activity involved with porn than watching. It’s like saying you sit on a bicycle.

It’s been a couple days, but I really liked the Grammys; I particularly liked that one time the little dude in the Darth Vadar suit tried to get Bob Dylan to stop singing.

There are several reports that O.J. Simpson was beaten severely in prison. Turns out not to be true, but you gotta admit you liked hearing it.

Since you asked:

Saw the Lady Gaga interview on “Sixty Minutes.” Comparing her to Madonna is an interesting study on fame, marketing and talent. Although outwardly similar, there are vast differences. Lady Gaga is far more talented a singer, piano player and song writer than Madonna. They’re both very gifted in terms of understanding and manipulating the press and their fans. Both are so-so dancers. Age difference aside, both are equal parts kinda hot and kinda not.

It’s just that Lady Gaga seems to pull it all off with so much more class and fun than Madonna. The primary difference is their personalities. Madonna has always had a nasty and mean underlying pettiness and snottiness. You know. A bitch.

Lady Gaga is just plain nicer. And the Gaga has a sense of humor, something that hasn’t ever appeared around Madonna. I’m rooting for Lady Gaga to succeed, I would love it if Madonna fell on her smug face.

While analyzing celebrities, let's use the Sundance Film Festival as a yardstick to measure just how difficult and douche-y celebrities can be.

First of all TSFF is held in Park City, a great ski town on a beautiful mountain. It, along with Mammoth, is one of my favorite snowboard spots. Fairly short flight from San Diego, quick drive out of Salt Lake up the mountain and the terrain at Park City is ideal for snowboarding. Long rolling solid blue runs, short, sweet black diamonds. And Utah snow is amazing. Like talcum powder.

The town, a former mining town, is cool. One long main street with a ton of great bars and restaurants.

For the stars, the festival consists of watching movies, giving interviews, collecting a fortune in free bags, clothes, hats, hair products, colognes, watches, you name it. And then fine-dining, partying and hobnobbing with other stars all night.

And a ton of celebrities complain about going to the film festival, or flat out refuse to go.

What spoiled tools.