Monday, February 14, 2011

Tears in his eyes I guess, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A San Diego man had two of his toes chewed off by his dogs. Good thing for him they weren’t lap dogs.

A survey shows 15% of people have had more sex due to being snowed in this winter. Nice try, Minnesota, but we’re staying in California.

Green Bay linebacker great Clay Matthews III was on our show this week, what a good looking, smooth and charming guy. If Ben Roethlisberger was more like Clay Matthews, women might actually have sex with Ben willingly.

When properly trained, dogs can detect colon cancer almost as well as a colonoscopy. Who was the first to discover this? “Good news, guys. Thanks to some peanut butter and my dog Skipper, it turns out I don’t have colon cancer.”

A San Diego man had two of his toes chewed off by his dogs. They had to call an ambulance. And a toe truck. Sorry. So, sorry.

Jennifer Anniston turns 42 today. At 42, Jennifer looks younger than Lindsay Lohan who is 24. But, remember, Lindsay Lohan is 42 in Charlie-Sheen-years.

Women’s basketball star, Diana Taurisi, tested positive for performance enhancing drugs but angrily denies she took any. In fact, Taurisi is so angry she told the press they can kiss her big hairy butt.

A San Diego man had two of his toes chewed off by his dogs. The man was upset they chewed off his toes, particularly because he told them to heel.

Despite violent threats, Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak did not resign. But, oddly enough, French President Nicolas Sarkozy did.

Since you asked:

The other day I heard what has to be - excluding almost all Madonna songs - the most overrated song performed the most overrated group: "Beth" by Kiss.

God whoever sang that is awful. Off-key. No range. The melody is good and the lyrics and OK, but give Tom Petty or John Hiatt a glass of whisky and a pad of paper and pen and they could do better in ten minutes.