Thursday, August 05, 2010

We getting’ her done on the run in the sun, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

16-year-old Justin Bieber is writing his memoirs; the only thing I wrote when I was 16 was a letter to “Penthouse” and it was a lie about what happened with my hot babysitter.

It will be the first memoir published entirely in text message abbreviations. BTW, LOL, OMG, I’M16, WTF?

There was a huge crowd of people waiting to see “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki’s release from jail. And that concludes this weeks: “Statement my Aunt Mary-Gus will never understand.”

For what is about the third or fourth time, Brett Favre has hinted that me may or may not retire. I’m starting to believe this guy didn’t get enough attention as a child.

16-year-old Justin Bieber is publishing his memoirs; or as Bieber’s editor calls it: babysitting.

Before hitting his 600th, Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod was mired in a 0-46 homer slump after his 599th home run. It was so serious A-Rod was thinking of switching from human growth hormones back to steroids.

Bristol Palin has broken off her engagement with Levi Johnston. Again. Even Brett Favre is saying: make up your mind.

It is “Shark Week” on the “Discovery” channel. Friday has a great episode; “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki gets eaten by a great white shark. And she turns the great white orange.

38 billionaires, including Warrant Buffet and Bill Gates, have agreed to donate half of their fortunes to charity. As opposed to Tiger Woods, Tiger donated half his fortune to his wife when she found out about a stripper named Charity.

Doctors say a Michigan man’s life was saved when his dog chewed off his infected toe while he slept. The man was extremely grateful to his dog, Kiko, but even more grateful he did not also have an STD.

Since you asked:

CBS talk show host, Craig Ferguson, was on a shark episode on “Discovery” and it was amazing. At one point Ferguson was free diving – no cage - and feeding a school of five-to-six- foot sharks and it was ethereally beautiful as they swam back and forth almost dancing in the crystal blue water.

One of the coolest things I have ever seen.