Monday, August 02, 2010

No, I love your show, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

President Barack Obama was on “The View.” It was pretty impressive, he was 9 for 16 in attempts to get a word in sideways.

You know what’s coming back into style? Old fashioned names for girls like Gertrude, Mable, Beatrice, Alice and Doris. And if you want a really old name for a girl? Name her Barbra Walters.

Elmhurst, Illinois is going to pass a law against eye-rolling. Oh, brother, like that’ll really work.

Lindsay Lohan is getting out of the slammer. In Las Vegas you can place a bet on whether Lindsay got a teardrop tattoo by her eye or not.

Lindsay Lohan is getting out of the slammer. Lindsay’s been using her jail time wisely, though, mostly working on her new screenplay; “I Will Shiv a Bitch.”

Microsoft is getting ready to unveil a new slogan they claim will better represent their company. It’s: “Microsoft, no longer locking up whenever . . . oh crap.”

In San Diego, police confiscated $1.4 million dollars of marijuana on Highland Ave. And you won’t believe how much pot they found on Wasted Way and Baked Blvd.

The military secrets published on WikiLeaks are amazing. Did you know Osama bin Laden produced a kid’s sitcom on al Jazeera network called; “The Suite Life of Zach and Akmed”?

It’s been so hot in New York City, in Times Square an alert t-shirt vendor stopped a terrorist from blowing up an ice cream truck.

MTV is launching a “Jersey Shore” video game on the Internet. The “Jersey Shore” video game is like “Grand Theft Auto” only with more skanky ho’s, oily dirtbags, violence and utter morons.

Since you asked:

Welcome back DSC on 100.7 Jack FM. Long a perk of living in San Diego, the morning drive team of Dave, Shelly and Chainsaw was like having a bunch of your funny friends goofing with you in the morning.

It’s not all there quite yet. Shelly isn’t back – but I gather she will be – and I can’t get an e-mail returned from my guy. But it is nice to hear them again.