Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Look out everybody 'cause it's Harvey the surfin' dawwwwwwwwwg

These just in:

He was not hurt, but Mel Gibson crashed his Lamborghini into a Malibu hillside. It all started when Mel got into an obscenity-laced tirade with his navigation lady.

Authorities say they do not believe alcohol was involved, if you don’t count the alcohol that was involved.

After 34 years, Cathy Guisewite, the creator of the comic strip “Cathy”, is quitting in October. She decided it was time to stop when shopping for Cathy’s swimsuits went from funny, to sad to horrific.

The last strip will be bitter sweet when Cathy goes shopping for orthopedic shoes.

She decided it was time to stop when Cathy yelled “Ack!” and her back went out.

There is a new drug that prevents premature ejaculation. Warning: if taken with Viagra it could result in severe popularity with women.

I believe it is called: Holdyourwad.

A 23 year-old San Francisco running back, Glen Coffee, quit his promising NFL career to pursue the ministry. Or he may join the Detroit Lions because, as of now, the Lions don’t have a prayer.

Andrew Lloyd Weber’s songs will be available on a karaoke game on Xbox 360. This will be for all of those guys who love to sing show tunes on karaoke and play Xbox. What? Excuse me? This just in: there is no such thing as a guy who likes to sing karaoke show tunes and play Xbox.