Seriously, a nut-less monkey, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A pink pill designed to be a female Viagra to boost sex drive in women failed in two FDA tests. Don’t we already have a drug that boosts the sex drive in women? It’s called Vodka.

The pill didn’t come close to the two standards in boosting a women’s sex drive: a Johnny Mathis song and diamond earrings.


A man in Indonesia was arrested for having sex with a cow, but he claims the cow initiated the sex. How could a cow initiate sex? That is (wait for it) udderly ridiculous.




The NFL held a seminar this month at Johns Hopkins University on concussions. What they discovered is concussions in the NFL are so bad many players cannot remember the words: “Stay the hell out of strip clubs.”

Tennessee Titan QB, Vince Young, was charged with assault for fighting in a Dallas strip club; apparently this bar really put the-you-know-what in Titan.

Tennessee Titan QB Vince Young was filmed being in a brawl at a strip club. Or as Ben Roethlisberger calls it: Friday night.


Researches have discovered male fat is different from female fat. Male fat thinks it looks fine when it sucks in its stomach.


To give you an idea how annoying those World Cup plastic horn vuvuzelas are, on the annoying scale they are somewhere between Flo the Progressive Insurance lady and Jehovah’s witnesses.


An 87-year-old San Antonio man is attempting to break his age group record in the pole vault. The existing 87-year-old pole vault record was set at: Still pole vaulting.


Tennessee Titan QB Vince Young was filmed in a brawl at a strip club. What is the big deal with strip clubs and NFL players? So guys drink champagne and beautiful women drenched in perfume take of their clothes and dance on their lap and wave their, OK, never mind, I got it.


All the celebrities at the Los Angeles Lakers games proves Hollywood is high school with money. I just thought it was a little mean after the game when Seth Green asked Paris Hilton to the prom, she laughed in his face and gave him a wedgie in front of the cheerleaders.


There is an axiom in Hollywood that you can tell how hot someone’s career is by how close they sit to the floor at Los Angeles Lakers games. This can’t be good for Pauly Shore, not only couldn’t he get tickets, the Lakers told Pauly he couldn’t turn the Laker game on his TV.


Celebrities at the Los Angeles Lakers games proves Hollywood is high school with money. Leonardo DiCaprio is the one cool kid from the drama department, David Arquette is the class clown hanging with the cool kids and Jack Nicholson is the Godfather of the cool kids


Seven Eleven has their own wine. In fact, Consumer Report just gave Seven Eleven’s Chardonnay a top rating. Apparently it goes wonderfully with beef jerky and utter despair.

Since you asked:

Man, did the Lakers win ring hollow. It makes some of those bloodless and corporate 49er Super Bowls look like a World Cup upset. The Lakers have so much talent, but they only do enough to win – besides the awesome Derek Fisher. Kobe looks like he could fall asleep out there.

So, yes, Kobe is a great player, Kobe is a lock for the Hall of Fame, but please do not compare Kobe to Michael Jordan. You can’t even compare him to Magic Johnson. As we saw in that hard-to-watch final game, the level of play isn’t even close to Magic’s standards.

There are some die-hard Lakers fans who grew up in Los Angeles with the Jerry West/Gail Goodrich/Wilt teams and continued the love affair with Magic and Jabbar. But even those fans aren’t crowing like they used to in the Eighties.

Believe me, I know what it feels like to love and die for a team, both playing on one and watching one. Those celebrity Lakers fans act like they care – that’s what most of them do for a living – they may even think they care, but they don’t give a crap about the Lakers. Those stars are at the Lakers game to be seen. Period.

So even the Lakers fans don’t care that much about this Lakers team.