If sexiness was food, you’d be bacon, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


It’s high school graduation time. This is a very exciting time for senior boys, especially if they didn’t get their teacher pregnant after the prom.


Researches have discovered male fat is different from female fat. Male fat is primarily caused by drinking beer. And if guys drink enough beer, they can make female fat virtually disappear.


Did you hear what happened to that snotty little British Petroleum CEO, Tony Hayward? A protestor, upset about the Gulf oil spill, dumped an entire bucket of crude oil on Hayward’s head. Now, that story is not true, but you have to admit it made you feel better.


Researches have discovered male fat is different from female fat. Male fat primarily thinks it’s just big-boned.

There are two primary culprits in the creation of female fat. Their names are Ben & Jerry.

There are two primary culprits in the creation of male fat. Their names are Bud and Weiser.


Does everyone have a bucket list? A bucket list is things you want to do before you kick the bucket and die. I have a new item on my bucket list. I am going to get a bucket, fill it with crude oil and dump the bucket of oil on BP CEO Tony Hayward’s weasel head.


In Ohio, a six-story Touchdown Jesus statue was struck by lightening and burned to the ground. That has to be the worst omen for football since a team was named the Detroit Lions.


Rumor is “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” creator Larry David’s ex, Laurie, had an affair with Al Gore. Laurie met Gore at a thing, yadda, yadda, yadda, she deemed him sponge-worthy.

Since you asked:

My text: AC (My 11-year-old daughter, Ann Caroline) Graduated 6th grade with 3 X A+’s and 1 X A and voted Best Female Athlete.

My Buddy Ron’s text: Good thing her mother is an athlete.

My Buddy Ron’s text: Riley (his 16-year-old daughter) has a 4.25 GPA and voted Cheerleading captain.

My text: Good thing Riley’s mother isn’t a stupid douche bag.

Guys being guys. Isn’t it great?