Thursday, April 01, 2010




It's my blog, I can put whatever picture I want. Again.




Chain, chain, chain, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Jesse James cheated on his gorgeous wife with a large number of strippers and now he is in sex rehab in Arizona. And to think I didn’t even know Jesse played golf.

John Edwards’s mistress, Rielle Hunter, said she doesn’t like the word mistress. Maybe she would prefer the term: adulterer hose-bag skank-bucket?

“Lost” star Yunjin Kim, got married in Hawaii. It was romantic, the couple wrote their own incomprehensibly confusing wedding vows.

The New York Yankees have an ambidextrous pitcher, Pat Venditte, in camp. Upon hearing this, a confused former President George W. Bush said; “So what if he is ambidextrous? They don’t play baseball on water.”

The Republican National Committee spent nearly $2,000 at a Hollywood sex and bondage nightclub where they simulate lesbian sex. Apparently G.O.P. now stands for: Getting Our Porn.

President Barack Obama lifted a ban on off-shore drilling. And, after spending $2,000 in sex-themed Hollywood nightclub, the Republicans have apparently lifted their ban on on-shore drilling.

Ricky Martin announced he is gay. When asked to comment, former “American Idol” contestant, William Hung said; “Of course I knew Ricky was gay. I only look mentally challenged.

The Republican National Committee spent nearly $2,000 at a Hollywood bondage-themed nightclub where they simulate wild sex. Wait until guys get a hold of the term: simulate wild sex. “Honey, I didn’t have an affair with my secretary. We were just simulating wild sex.”

Eliot Spitzer hired whores, Eric Massa tickled male aides, Larry Craig tapped toes in men’s bathrooms. This means Bill Clinton was the most sexually conservative politician we ever had.

The conservative Republican National Committee spent nearly $2,000 at a Hollywood sex and bondage nightclub where they simulate lesbian sex. Proving eternally the only thing more fun than making fun of hypocrisy? Making fun of flaming hypocrisy.

A new report reveals the Republican National Committee spent lavishly on a sex-themed Hollywood nightclub. Well no wonder the Republicans don’t like the new health care program, it doesn’t cover massages with happy endings.


Since you asked, serious version:

The Phoebe Prince Massachusetts bullying suicide just breaks my heart for her and her family. All kids get teased. It is a part of learning how to grow up. In high school I was a fairly popular jock who had it great, and I got teased. And I teased other people. Grow a spine, thicken your skin and get over it.

But there is a line and you don’t cross it. Everyone knows when they’ve gone too far. Those monsters in South Hadley High School in Western Massachusetts knew it, crossed it and now they are complicit in Phoebe’s suicide and should be punished accordingly. It makes no difference how young they are, they knew what they did, and their actions, and the results, have consequences. Dire consequences.

This is not the fault of teachers and school administrators, it is the kids themselves who are responsible. Having said that, it's the job of the staff to make sure tragedies like this don't happen. So at the least they didn't do their jobs well.

Due to those brutal bullies, South Hadley High and the entire region of Western Massachusetts now has an indelible stain and stench of cruelty it will never lose.

There was a sweet, nice, kind, smart girl in my elementary school who underwent criminal teasing as well. Her name wasn’t May Hamm, but those who knew her know who I mean. Sadly she was physically unfortunate because she was tall and skinny, lily-white, freckled and her skin was severely dry and flaky. She also had a somewhat pronounced nose and a giant shock of bright red frizzy hair. It didn’t help matters that she was painfully shy.

Being the non-geniuses kids are, she of course was labeled Bozo. And along with that came Bozo cooties. If you so much as slightly touched May, you had Bozo cooties and nobody would get near you for the rest of the day. This was the precious baby girl of a father and a mother who loved her dearly.

But her shy sweetness and sense of humor and gentle nature far exceeded her rather ungainly appearance. And when I say she was smart, she was brilliant. Why couldn’t we see and appreciate those wonderful gifts? Because, unlike May Hamm, we were stupid, stupid insensitive kids, that’s why.

My incredibly socially awkward older brother, John, was teased far above and beyond what was right and fair and it was horribly painful to observe the extent of the mental damage done. As a result, I really didn’t tease kids much - and I never bullied - and I can fairly honestly say I did not tease May Hamm.

And yet, I didn’t do anything to stop the teasing, either. It makes me sick to this day. I was one of the biggest and strongest kids in my school and I could have stopped the cruelty by sheer threat of force. But I didn’t.

It is my deep hope that May Hamm went on to be wildly successful and, more importantly, deeply loved as I am fairly certain, due to her wonderful nature, she was. That, however, will never erase the fact she suffered severe mental cruelty all through elementary school which is nothing less than a tragedy. Like it or not, we all only get one childhood to remember.

There is no way to imagine the shame, guilt, humiliation and sorrow the kids who bullied Phoebe Prince will feel now and for the rest of their wretched lives. What’s more they deserve to feel all of that and worse. Those South Hadley High bullies need to be severely punished so a message of how not to treat a human being can be learned.

Let’s pray the students who stood by and let the Phoebe Prince torturing occur find a way to live with their terrible guilt. Let's also pray the students who bullied Phoebe do not find a way to live with their terrible guilt. Their guilt should torture them, as they tortured Phoebe, for the rest of their horrible lives. This putrid stain and stink of evil has been splattered on everyone at South Hadley High in Western Massachusetts.

Except, of course, Phoebe Prince. She is in the arms of the angels.