Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Go Daddy doggie-o

The Final Four features a Duke and a Butler. Add two cross-dressers, a Cher impersonator and a hairdresser and this could be high tea service at Elton John's estate.

To be honest, I'm not sure the census form I got was legitimate. For example, why would the department of commerce want to know; "When was the last time you got funky with your hang down?"

In the texts Joslyn James (cough) leaked to the press, Tiger asks to urinate on James. Seriously, what sick freak fantasizes about a women being a New York City subway platform?

Ricky Martin is gay? Sheyah right, next thing you'll try to tell me is Kirsty Alley likes cake.

This is an exciting time of year for Fantasy Baseball leagues, they get to pick their players for the year and pick their imaginary girlfriend for the prom.

Toyota put a huge ad in the Chicago Cubs’ home, Wrigley Field. Apparently it is part of Toyota’s plan not to sell cars in October.

Duke is in the final four. Many basketball fans love to hate Duke because it is considered an elitist and arrogant school. When asked to quickly respond, a Duke student said; “Not if you insist on asking with a split infinitive.”

Since you asked:

Is there anything I don't like about this Tiger Woods sex scandal? It's got it all: wealth, fame, shame, perversion, sleaze, a historic idol free fall, hubris getting throttled with a vengeance all wrapped up in sports with a shot at eventual redemption for Tiger. All the while the smuggest a-hole cult in America, Nike, is taking it with a swift kick in their snotty bums.

Tell the truth, you will be glued to the tube for the Masters. Who wouldn't be? It is the greatest soap Oprah, sorry, soap opera and sports drama of all time.