You are wearing the hell out of those acid-wash jeans, the hell out of them, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


New York representative Eric Massa resigned amid allegations of unwanted sexual assault of his male office workers. Not to go into detail, but let’s just say Massa brought new meaning to the term: poling his staff members.


Newly elected Massachusetts Senator and former nude model, Scott Brown, is writing a book; the title is; “Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground, Looking Like I Rule With My Pants on the Ground.”


Seeing the interviews of articulate best-supporting actor Oscar winner Christoph Waltz, I just realized something terrible: We’ve been making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s accent, he really has a horrible speech impediment.


The Center for Disease Control announced one in six people have herpes; ever since this announcement, all I can do in meetings is think: “One, two, three, four, five, oh, dude, nasty.”


Since you asked:
Seriously, how awesome was Zach Galifianakis on “SNL”? I was hoping and praying he would do a turn with co-hosting the “Weekend Update.” Oh well, this is not a perfect world. If it was a perfect world I would be stand up paddle board surfing right now, then enjoying some PF Chang’s lettuce wraps with a San Diego Sunset (Mount Gay Rum, rocks, heavy splash of coconut water, squeeze of lime) and then taking a nap and then grilling tri-tip.

Or, going to the Belly Up in Solana Beach to see Garfunkle and Oates open for the Flight of the Conchords.