This is my go-to home field SUP surf spot, Torrey Pines

El Duderino if you're not into that whole brevity thing, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



A Florida man is in jail after being arrested for calling 911 and asking for sex. Sure, call him crazy, but now he is in jail, he is going to have all the sex he can handle. Who’s crazy now?


You’ve probably seen the footage of the drunk Bostonian who falls on the subway tracks, but just avoids getting hit? Turns out it was a United Airlines pilot on his way to the airport.


The Balloon boy’s parents will be sentenced to probation today and remember the crazy lady astronaut who drove across country in a diaper and attacked a woman astronaut? She’s on probation. I guess the only way to get sent to jail these days is to call 911 and ask for sex.


A Florida man is in jail after being arrested for calling 911 and asking for sex. Call him crazy, but it worked, he’s screwed now.


Sammy Sosa has become white due to chemical peel procedures; to give you an idea how white Sosa is now, Sammy watched the entire broadcast of “The Country Music Awards.”


In New York they are auctioning off items of $60 billion scammer Bernie Madoff including a New York Mets jacket with Madoff’s name on the back. Or as they call a Mets Madoff jacket in Chicago, an; “I want strangers to kill me” jacket.


The movie “Precious” is about a morbidly obese illiterate 16-year-old girl who is sexually abused by her drug addict father and mentally and physically abused by her bitter welfare mother. This is the movie for those who think skyrocketing unemployment, swine flu and two wars in the Middle East are not quite depressing enough.


Congratulations to Darius Rucker, former Hootie and the Blowfish front man, for being the first African American to win the Country Music Award’s New Artist of the Year. When asked to comment, one country music fan said; “That’s great. Wait. What’s an African American?”

Congratulations to Darius Rucker, former Hootie and the Blowfish front man, for being the first African American to win the Country Music Award’s New Artist of the Year. There was an awkward moment when Willy Nelson interrupted Darius to say Taylor Swift should have won.


While promoting the new “Twilight” vampire movie, actress Kristen Stewart tells interviewers how much she hates being famous. Maybe being a movie star isn’t the ideal occupation for her. How about a job at Starbucks? Then you are guaranteed not to be famous.