Tuesday, August 04, 2009

President Barack Obama celebrated his 48th birthday by bowling a 144, a huge improvement over the 37 he bowled during the campaign. This kind of improvement in this short of time - at that advanced age- can only mean four words: the President is juiced.

Correction: the Japanese astronaut wearing the same underwear for a month in the ISS? His name is Noganna Nookieget.

Since you asked:

One of the constants in my life is that I've always hated being called Al. And feet, I hate feet, but I won't get into that now. Nothing wrong with the name, Al, I just don't like it for me. So, as a result, a real barometer to how I feel about people can be measured by when and if someone insist on calling me Al.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but how would you like it if you named your daughter Layla and somebody insisted on calling her Lay? That is sort of how I feel about Alex and Al.

An ex-friend of mine got remarried to a woman who thought rather highly of herself to say the least, maybe a lot more than she should have in my opinion. Well, my buddy must have undersold me to her as somewhat of a jamoke, because she clearly had the impression I was an idiot/knucklehead so she thought it was chummy, fitting and funny to call me Al.

Politely at first, but then with growing sincerity, I told her clearly I hated being called Al. She didn't care. She continued to call me Al.

We don't see them anymore. Hopefully never will.

Now, on the other hand, my really good friends know that I hate being called Al, so, when they want to give me a hard time, they call me Al. Especially when I do something stupid, which is, let's face it, a lot. They call me Al often in the voice of the beloved special ed kid we all knew, Eddie Walsh, which sounds exactly like the mentally challenged brother, Warren, in "Something About Mary."

"Good Alllllllllllllllll."

You have to be a really good friend to call me Al, break it out too early and it is a deal breaker.