Here is sweet ol' Kasey-bear. She has just been fed so her worry for her next meal is put off for five minutes.

During a show in Detroit, outspoken abstinence vower, Joe Jonas, teared up twice about his break up with Camilla Belle. Just when you thought it wasn't possible for the Jonas brothers to be any whimpier?

Bad news at the beer summit. Barack Obama tried to get Henry Louis Gates Jr. and his arresting officer, James Crowley, to settle their problems over a beer, but an ugly fight broke out about whether the beer tasted great or was less filling.

Since you asked:

Got a real great education about Californians and their love affair with all things beach culture.

When I went to parents day at Solana Beach Junior Lifeguards, it was a blast to see what happens when you combine youthful energy and fitness, creativity and a deep love of the ocean and beach.

Every possible water activity goes on, surfing, snorkeling, body surfing, kayaking, paddle boarding, swimming, boogie boarding, skim boarding.

On the beach any game is more fun in the sand: capture the flag, touch football, soccer, ultimate Frisbee, dodge ball. And sand sculptures were taken to the next level. Including hoses, tubes and advanced engineering to make an elaborate tennis ball roller coaster.

And then there is all the water safety and rescue education about life saving and first aid.. (One sweet and brave girl got stung by a sting ray. It made a nasty puncture wound on her big toe and the poison, the lifeguard told me, causes the pain to reach that of a broken bone)

And there is an education on proper beach gear, backpacks full of tons of sunblock, water, snacks, towels, rash guards, sandals, hats, sunglasses, first aid kits, brushes.

The kids learn about all the wildlife in the water and out. Dolphins surfed the waves right next to the kids. Leopard sharks and rays abound. And jelly fish. (Yes, the cure for a jelly fish sting is urine and it works)

After there are bonfires, BBQ's, songs, stories, jokes, "The cake was my idea" and, yes, some adult beverages. (If I don't get my hands on a few young Mont Gay Rum, coconut water and lime squeeze's tonight lives will be lost)

Which results in an entire culture with the clothes, slang, bands and attitude which gets stereotyped overly simplistically as laid back. You think the beach culture is laid back? Paddle your surfboard out in some rough area, like Imperial Beach, into a group of locals and cut someone off on a wave. You will need to use the Cal Tech computer to figure out how many ways your ass just got kicked.


Just so's yah knows:

When I chant "Up in here, up in here" right after I feel way cooler. Up in here.

Hope this doesn't sound old and bitter, but you know what I hope? I hope the members of the Starland Vocal Band are lonely and miserable and living in cockroach and fetid garbage squalor in a death-stenching scorching delapitated hot trailer home in the middle of a toxic waist dump in a rat infested Nevada desert for ruining my summer of 1976 with their satanically vapid and douche-ie song "Afternoon Delight."

That's what I hope.