In New Jersey a bunch of mayors and Rabbis were caught in a financial scam that included selling human organs. Look, New Jersey, if you want us to stop making jokes about you, you have to stop doing stuff like this.

In Trenton, they sold all kinds of body parts, kidneys, livers, spleens, hearts just about everything but brains, because nobody with any brains lives in Trenton.

What a heartless crime, can you imagine the gallbladder? They got a lot of spleening to do.

(Boo and hiss)

Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz tested positive for steroids in 2003. "Big Papi" is now "Big Syringe Plunger Popper Papi."