Monday, August 03, 2009

Play me off, keyboard cat and Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A Japanese astronaut on the International Space Station is undergoing an experiment by wearing the same underwear for a month. I believe his name is Nowashie Tighteewhightee.

In addition he is also conducting an experiment to see if no female astronaut touches him for a month with a ten foot pole.

Larry King is on Twitter. So far his only Tweet messages have been; "Hey, are you in there? Who is in my phone? Get out of there."

You can now buy a Snuggie - the blanket with arms - for your dog. It's called; "Why the rest of the world hates us."

So what's it called? The Snoggie? The Pup Tent?

A new slang dictionary has included Obama for cool. And a feminine hygiene dispenser is called a Biden Bag.

Sarah Palin is denying she is getting divorced. Her husband, Todd, went on to add that, despite rumors to the contrary, he and Tina Fey are just friends.

In Wisconsin, three women who discovered the same man was cheating on them, tied him up and put Super Glue on his penis. On the bright side, the women have been contacted by the producers of "Two and Half Men" to sell their story.

We got an advanced screening of the new G.I. Joe movie. I've got to tell you, the full frontal nude scenes are very disappointing.

Happy 48th Birthday, President Barack Obama. Today they had a cake summit at the White House.

The man who wrote most of President George W. Bush's speeches, David Frum, announced he is writing his memoirs. Unfortunately, he spelled memoirs M-I-M-W-A-R-E-S.

MSNBC reports a neuroscientist claims yawning is a sign of sexual arousal. With the notable exception of listening to a Joe Biden speech.

Scientists claim Viagra can help cure jet lag. And it gives guys another place to hang their carry-on bag.

Bill Clinton was able to procure North Korean pardons for the two captured female US journalists; when asked if he would do likewise for the three captured hikers in Iraq, Clinton said; "I'll help get that Sarah chick, but those two dudes are screwed."

World's smallest group? Birthers with a life.

(Big ups assist by Janice Hough)