Comic Con Opens in San Diego
(Locals notice a drastic shortage of asthma inhalers and water wings on store shelves)

In a fair and just universe, my saying "I Twitter Anna Faris" would have a much more exciting and enjoyable meaning.

Since you asked:
Great writer, Rick Reilly, used to be a harsh critic of Tiger Woods, but he has been won over by Tiger in many ways.

But Reilly wrote a recent piece on Tiger that, although it was highly complementary to Tiger in many ways, it implored Tiger to stop throwing tantrums when a shot does not go just exactly where he wants it to.

What Reilly and others fail to grasp is that, besides playing for one hundred million dollars a year in endorsement money as well as having a golf tournament on the line, when Tiger plays golf he is attempting to cure brain cancer, he is also fighting terrorists in Afghanistan as well as providing aid and care to African refugees.

Oh, wait, no he isn't. Never mind.

Sung to the tune of Elton John's "Rocket Man."

"Comic Con, uniting all the nerds out here as one."