Be sweet on the tweet, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
(this is not moi, as I think you gathered)

Wheaties is coming out with a cereal made just for male athletes. Although I don't think the truth-in-advertising laws did their new slogan any favors:

"Wheaties. Covering steroid cheater's butts since Bruce Jenner."


Sadly, Bridget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, died at 15; Bridget was a female posing as a male for TV. Kind of like Ryan Seacrest.

Sadly, Bridget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua died at 15; in a related story, it has just been discovered that 98% of all journalists have no idea how to spell Chihuahua. Personally, I could have sworn there was a J in there somewhere.

This just in: following his taped apology, singer Chris Brown was savagely and brutally beaten by a large, irate female feminist. That story is not true, but you have to admit it did make you feel good for a second.

Manny Rameriz came off the bench to hit a game-winning home run for the LA Dodgers despite an injured hand. It was thought Manny re-injured the hand after, but it turns out Manny was just waving his hand to help the fingernail polish air dry faster.

A car dealer in MO is offering an AK-47 with every truck purchase. The deal went bad when, after buying a truck, a customer held up the dealer with his new AK-47 and made off with all their cash . . . in his new truck.

Since you asked:

Do you know what I like about Twitter? No, really, I'm asking . . .

No, what I like about Twitter is how you can follow the daily activities of somebody rich and famous and you can believe your life is like theirs, right up until the split second it isn't:

"Had coffee, read the paper, took a shower, put on my old jeans and a t-shirt then got in my Lear jet Jacuzzi with three naked super models. God I love dinner in Paris."

Guess what I just heard for the first time? Wrigley growling. The dog is so sweet-natured he has never growled once in his seven years. But just now a bird got too close and Wrigley let him have one. Have to admit, it was scary sounding, but he isn't fooling me. If that bird had attacked Wrigley, he would have run away with his tail between his legs.

Although there are about three dead rabbits who would disagree as to Wrigley's tenacity.


Don't get me wrong, I likes me some Lance Armstrong, but some of those other cycling geeks? Especially that uber dork diva Alberto Contador. To give you an idea how selfish and egotistical Contador is, today team Astansa traded him to the Buffalo Bills for Terrell Owens.

Contador is living proof there is nothing quite as annoying as a nerd who thinks he is a stud.