Sunday, June 28, 2009

Hiking on that Appalachian Trail, Torn Slattern and Nugget Ranchers

Cubs Versus Socks, oh, sorry, Sox
The Chicago Cubs are playing the Chicago White Sox in a series that has been described as a friendly rivalry; it is a friendly rivalry insofar as you consider the rivalry between Israel and Palestine friendly.

At least the Cubs know how to spell Cubs. Do you know what you call a Chicagoan who likes the Cubs and the White Sox? Mythical.

How much does the average Cubs fan dislike the average White Sox fan? You know how PETA feels about Michael Vick? Worse.

The blood between the Cubs fans and the Sox fan is more toxic than Amy Winehouse's after a Las Vegas bachelorette party. There are Shiite and Sunni clerics who like each other more.

Here is my question: if that Dos Equis Fernando Lamas-sounding gray beard guy is the most interesting man in the world, why do his commercials suck such major moose peepees?


Iraq is furious with us, the U.S., for not doing more to stop the rash of bombings. Well, as a member of the U.S., let me see what I can do. Hmm, well, how about it, Iraq, if I tell you to STOP FRIGGIN' BLOWING YOURSELVES UP, YOU MORONS!

Lov Gov II
Let's review, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took off to have an affair with a reporter in Argentina and now their love letter e-mails are published. Sanford is the hands down winner of this month's Simon Cowell "OK, we get it, you're not gay" award.

Let's review, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took off to have an affair with a reporter in Argentina; Apparently Sanford misunderstood when he heard that people travel from around the world to enjoy Argentina's meat.

Uh, I think he is still doing it
Los Angeles Dodger's Manny Rameriz's suspension for taking female hormones is almost up; Manny is looking forward to rejoining his teammates and sitting down and talking about their feelings and where they see their relationship going as well as other emotionally charged issues.

Cannot do the math
The top music earners this year are Madonna who made $110 million and Celine Dion who earned $100 million. Now I like to think I've been around and know a lot of people. I've never met anyone who wouldn't rather take a beat-down than spend a dime on a Madonna or Celine Dion concert or CD. Who are these people who shelled out $210 mil this year to hear them?

Gooder writing
Just reread the great "Sports Illustrated" article by Rick Reilly on sports writing legend, Jim Murray, titled "Finest Man I Knew" and it is great. Great writing really is a beauty of a thing of which it appears to be beautiful in a kind of pretty looking attractive nicely conceived concept which is appealing when read and or looked upon therein. Amen.

Pet peeve
An A.P. poll reveals 50% of pet owners feel their pet is as much a part of their family as any human. Except in China where the pet is more of a part of their lower G.I. tract X-Ray.