Tuesday, March 24, 2009

We got some Puerto Rican girls that’s just dyin’ to meet you, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Specialty acts
Alex Rodriguez was a frequent customer of the same brothel used by former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer; so apparently that brothel specialized in A-Rods and A-Holes.

That explains it
On “Celebrity Apprentice”, Dennis Rodman angrily got into the face of country singer Clint Black; apparently Rodman was offended Black wouldn’t go by the name Clint African-American.

What a card
There is a line of cards that features past and present “American Idol” contestants and judges. They have Ryan Seacrest on the Queen of Diamonds.”

President Bush is coming out with a book about the 12 hardest decisions he made in office. It’s called “Dumber By The Dozen.”

Tough choices
President Bush is coming out with a book about the 12 hardest decisions he made in office. #3, Paper or plastic? #7, Non fat or fat free milk? #9, Jonas Brothers or Hannah Montana?

Not the same
Alex Rodriguez was a customer at a brothel and dated the brothel’s madam, Kristin Davis; Now don’t confuse this Kristen Davis with the actress on “Sex and the City” who played Charlotte. A-Rod’s Kristin Davis played Harlot.

Since you asked:
All you need to know about Ruth Madoff – besides she thinks she should keep $69 million of the $60 billion her husband stole – is that an article in “Vanity Fair” revealed that, for 30 years, the Madoffs had their own table and ate at least three times a week at a nice family owned Italian restaurant near their penthouse on the Upper East side.

The owner of that restaurant greeted them at their table each time. Not once in the thirty years - times three times a week - did Ruth Madoff deem this man worthy of even a polite glance let alone one word of civil conversation.

The Madoffs are going to the likes of hell for which they so richly deserve.

What is the expression? You can judge a person by how well they treat those who cannot benefit them? Bernie and Ruth Madoff even treated rudely people from whom they stole their life savings.

Is it just me or are there crimes where prison and even the death sentence don’t seem adequate? Terrorist attacks, intentionally hurting a child, animal or the infirmed in any way and stealing from charities and widows. Short of basic physical torture, there needs to be some way of making these people utterly miserable for a long, long time so they know the inconsolable misery of losing all hope, as they did so gleefully to their innocent victims.

Why didn’t I think of this before? We make the Madoffs, Osama bin Laden and Michael Vick attend life insurance and estate planning seminars followed by high school poetry readings and, finally, film school student panel discussions.

Oh the humanity.