Monday, March 23, 2009

I was just thinking how weird it is we eat birds, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Bad sign
What have we learned from the Bernie Madoff scandal? I’m no expert, but generally it’s not a good sign when you ask somebody about your investment manager and they say “Turn on CNN.”

Try that
President Barack Obama was making a joke on his bad bowling when he compared it to the Special Olympics and now people are upset. He should have compared his bowling to Dick Cheney’s quail hunting.

So that’s how it works
Have you seen the commercials for Abilify? It is a drug for those already on an anti-depression medicine who still have symptoms of depression. Apparently Abilify blocks your ability to follow the stock market and your 401K.

Doesn’t Abilify sound like a word president Bush would use to describe teaching? “We need to abilify those kids so they become educationable.”

Whew who and stuff
It’s Spring Break time in California. The nerds from Cal Tech are going all the way to Palm Springs not to get laid.

Pizza time
Kim Jong Il wants North Korea to have it’s first pizza chain. And Kim Jong Il is putting his cousin in charge of the pizza chain, Physically Il.

North Korean pizza is a little different; their meat lovers pizza comes with extra schnauzer.

Should follow logically
An Australian study reveals that the regular expulsion of semen helps prevent prostate cancer. So, by logical assumption, getting a blood transfusion from John Mayer also prevents prostate cancer.

Since you asked:

“Hoosiers” correction. Had it mostly right when “Shooter” was giving a scouting report to Norman Dale.

“My friend, you cannot play that team one-on-one. They got no head-toppers. Cedar Nob? A bunch of mites. Run you off the boards. You got to squeeze them in the paint. Make ‘em chuck it from the cheap seats. Mind that purgatory they call a gym. No drive twelve foot in. That’ll do yah.”

And I am going in for brain surgery if that tune they play during the montage of the cars following the bus along cornfields and slow motion of the games doesn’t leave my head.

Dah de dah daaaah, dah dah deee dah dee dee dah . . . .