Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Ball it, jack it and crack it, beyatch puhleaze, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Unhealthy state
A study reveals the state of Louisiana is the unhealthiest state. What do you expect? Their state motto is; “That fried possum shore is a repeatin’ on me.”

Well, that’s something, I guess
Grammy-winning singer Elvis Crespo was accused by a fellow passenger of masturbating on a flight from Houston to Miami. The bad news is he could face charges, the good news is he made the mile high club all by himself.

They did not arrest Crespo, but once they landed in Miami the pilot threw the jerk off.

Crespo claims he was just putting his trey table in its full upright and locked position.

Low turnout
This week eight tourists were the first Westerners to be officially sanctioned vacationers to Iraq; although attendance was low at the Hotel’s “Death to Infidel Dogs” Happy Hour.

How cheap is it?
The world’s cheapest car is going on sale in India, the Tata Nano. To give you an idea how cheap the Nano is, when you fill it up you double its value.

NASA says the urine-to-drinking- water processor is malfunctioning on the space station; the quality of the water has gone from spring brook, to city tap water down to public kiddy pool.

How hairy is he?
Robin Williams is recovering from heart surgery. Just to give you an idea exactly how hairy Robin Williams is, during the operation, for legal reasons, there had to be a veterinarian present.

New program
According to the Center for Disease Control, guys who are circumcised have less chance of getting HIV and two sexually transmitted diseases. It is part of the CDC’s new program to promote circumcision called; “Guys Without Hoods Are Out of the Woods.”

Since you asked:
Shout out to my two pals Stewie Dawgs and Cletis “T-Bone” Terhune.

Thursday night jam session at a good old fashioned dive/Chicago-style tavern in Escondido. Downtown Escondido is very old school Fifties style California town. (Think “American Graffiti”) The bar, Pounders, had pool tables in the front and the dance/band area in the back.

Big ol’ bar mirror, brick walls and a hardwood floor.

Good stage and lighting. The sound was a little muddled but we rocked pretty good until midnight. The majority of the crowd stayed until 11:30.

Saturday it was back to Escondido for Ann Caroline’s track meet where AC made us proud by winning her 100 and anchoring the winning 4 X 100 relay. Grilled garlic marinated and mesquite smoked tri tip. And wine. More wine. And food for my beasts.

Sunday there was a pool party, then track practice. And then I watched Tiger be Tiger in a way nobody can be Tiger but Tiger is Tiger on the blessed DVR delay.


And “T-Bone” Terhune.