These just in:

Police in Iowa arrested elderly Edna Jester because she wouldn’t give a kid’s ball back that landed in her yard. The 89-year-old Edna got mad when the ball hit her “I’m Hot For John McCain” sign.


Democrats are now worried that Tina Fey’s portrayal of Sarah Palin makes Palin appear a likeable good sport. Yeah, sort of like how Dick Cheney’s impersonation of the Penguin makes him look so darn cute.


Madonna’s divorce of Guy Ritchie is getting nasty. She claims irreconcilable differences. Apparently Guy has this whole attitude thing about her sleeping with big American jocks. Pfft. Whatever . . .


Madonna’s divorce of Guy Ritchie is getting nasty. She claims irreconcilable differences. Plus Madonna can no longer tolerate his affected and annoying fake British accent.


Madonna’s divorce with Guy Ritchie is getting nasty. Who could have seen this coming? Well, besides Alex Rodriguez, Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Dennis Rodman, Carlos Leon, Vanilla Ice, that scary comedian Sandra Bernhardt and the entire NBA circa 1993-96.


Madonna’s divorce with Guy Ritchie is getting nasty. By cavorting around with Alex Rodriguez, Guy is accusing Madonna of acting like a slut. That’s silly. Everybody knows Madonna can’t act.


To give you an idea how rough the economy is: today the Beverly Hills Chihuahua had sex-for-money with the Calabasas Bassett.

Since you asked:

Yesterday we, me and A.C., were walking to our car from the grocery store when my insanely observant 10-year-old daughter noticed a brand new Lexus with a John McCain bumper sticker and an Alaska license plate.

“It probably belongs to Sarah Palin.” I said making a joke. “She has to shop somewhere.”

Ann Caroline snickered and said;

“No, I hear she shoots all of her food.”

(Sniff) My baby’s first political joke. I’m so (sniff) proud.