Can I get a what, what, what, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?

Joe Mamma
There sure are a lot of Joes in politics these days. There’s Joe Biden, there’s Gov. Palin’s Joe Sixpack, John McCain’s Joe the plumber and President Bush is a Jo Ke.

Either or
Florida congressmen Tim Mahoney paid $121,000 to his mistress to be quiet and she threatened him with sexual harassment. So, after blowing so much money to fool around on his wife, if congress doesn’t work he can become either Gov. of New York or a Lehman Brothers exec.

And there is a study that, oh, I forget . . .
There is a study that claims having too much testosterone can kill brain cells. And there is a study that claims that having too much testosterone can kill brain cells.

Go figure
In a concert, Madonna made a crack about Guy Ritchie being “emotionally retarded.” Asked to comment, Ritchie said “For some reason I can’t explain my feelings.”

That too
Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce and now they have to decide who gets the majority of their $400 million estate. It could get ugly. Ritchie earned $25 million and Madonna earned the rest of the $375 million. Plus Madonna’s penis is way bigger.

Juice ruse
OJ Simpson’s attorneys are requesting a retrial. In fact, they even issued a statement:

“OJ did not steal his own gear, so you all can stick it in your . . .” well, you got the idea.