It gonna do what it do when it do to you, tew who who, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Latin name for it
Actor David Duchovny is in rehab, he suffers from sex addiction. Actually, there is a medical term for male sex addiction, I think it’s called: Nolackahnookieosis

Actor David Duchovny is in rehab, he suffers from sex addiction. I’m no sex expert, but I can see how a woman could suffer from sex addiction. It seems to me a guy is just gettin’ some like nobody’s business.

What’s violence got to do, got to do with it?
Hurricane Ike continues to lash at Cuba. However, Hurricane Ike denied any violence claiming he and Cuba just had creative differences over Cuba’s future solo career.

Not fair
In Las Vegas, jury selection began in the OJ Simpson sports memorabilia trial. Do you realize there is a chance OJ Simpson could go to jail for stealing his own memorabilia? That’s like Osama bin Laden going to jail for ripping the tag off of his mattress.

Oui kid
French President Nicolas Sarkozy is attempting to negotiate a truce between the battling countries of Russia and Georgia. Experts feel Sarkozy may be successful in that, after a long discussion with the French president, both sides may surrender.

It was awkward when President Bush called Sarkozy and suggested; “Ask Georgia to give Russia some of their delicious peaches.”

Trash talking comes naturally too
A study reveals that, without having ever seen a celebratory gesture, blind athletes will naturally thrust their fists in the air after a win. In addition, if a ref makes a bad call, a blind athlete will naturally thrust their middle finger in the air.


Here are some of the rejected campaign slogans for John McCain and Sarah Palin:

Vote M&M team, the Mummy and the Milf.

McCain/Palin: the Wry Geezer and the Eye Pleaser.

Root, root, rootie for the ol’ Cootie and the hot Cutie.

Since you asked:
(We both know we missed my Eagles rants)

“Heart” sisters, Ann and Nancy Wilson have their undies in a twist – and in Ann’s case, that is something – about the Republicans using “Barracuda” for Sarah Palin. (As I have said, I am not a Republican, I used to be a democrat, now I am an Independent) Listen rock folk, if you don’t want people playing your song, here’s a tip: don’t record it and distribute it on an album and don’t let radio stations play it.

Lord knows I loves me some boss, but Bruce Springsteen got all huffy when Ronald Reagan used his song “Born in the USA.” Bruce should have loved that they used it, it showed how out-of-touch they were. That song, to anyone who is smart enough to listen to the lyrics, is about the disenfranchised. By playing it as a glorifying anthem, the Reagan spin machine aired it's stupidity.

Celebrity music types, here’s a tip: do you think the rest of us think you folks are getting to be more or less of annoying pains-in-the-ass? Here’s a hint: The Dixie Chicks. You got it, regardless of politics, politics is not the point, we think you rock stars are becoming more of a pain-in-the-ass. Three words: shut up and (adding a fourth) sing. Whining about somebody liking and playing your song whose politics you don’t 100 % agree with is not going to help.

Lord knows I loves me some Eagles. Short of the Eagles needing restraining orders, I could not have been a bigger fan. Saw them in concert over a dozen times, own all of their albums, know all of their lyrics – not including, of course the over-indulgent “Disco Strangler” and Henley’s nightmarish “Building a Perfect Beast.”

Yes, I grew to understand that there are huge mega rock stars, like Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen, who don’t let their stardom go to their heads and that Glenn Frey and Don Henley were decidedly not among them.

And, yes, it soon became rapidly apparent that Henley, although a genius with lyrics, was, and is, a cranky and litigious sour puss with a nearly terminal case of head-up-his-own-ass-itis. And yes, it is true that Frey had a roadie fired for not getting him the exact kind of cigarette box he wanted. In Europe, no less. Hell, I told you I saw Frey scream at some poor old golf official at a celebrity charity event because he rightfully picked up Frey’s ball in a best ball format.

But I put that aside. Artists live in a different world than we do, I said to myself. And I even donated some money to the Walden Woods Project in addition to paying for tickets and albums. Saw two of the “Hell Freezes Over” concerts.

But when the Eagle power trio of Henley, Frey and the evil troll manager Azoff fired their longtime lead guitarist, Don Felder, over Felder’s displeasure of the trio’s breaking their long-time-agreement of a five-way split, well, now it isn’t really the Eagles to me anymore. It is just one more ruthless business entity - and or brand - that happens to play and sing good songs.

We - at least I do anyway - love to think our idols would like us as much as we like them/their music. We like to think we could have a few drinks and laughs with our stars. Really? Azoff, Frey and Henley went after Felder like rabid pit bulls and this was the guy who created “Hotel California” for them. How do you think they would treat any of us if push came to shove? It escapes me how Frey and Henley can listen to – let alone play and sing – “Hotel California” without feeling horrible about what they did to Felder. (From all accounts, Azoff is Satan, Satan doesn’t have a conscience)

So John McCain and Sarah Palin, listen up, when you campaign in New York, use Henley’s “New York Minute” Sarah, go ahead and use Heart’s “Barracuda” and then, when you talk about being an outsider in Washington, play the Eagles’ “New Kid In Town.” It would be fun just to know how much it pissed off Henley and Frey and Azoff.

Apparently you can still love somebody’s music with all your heart despite knowing they are an entertainment industry stuffed-shirt pompous greedy schmuck.

That reminds me, I have to download from iTunes a Sting song “Fields of Gold.”

Regardless - or irregardless, as our Commander- in-Chief likes to say - of your political beliefs, rock on, Slats and Nugs, rock on.