Hell, we been puttin’ lipstick on this here pig for ten years, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
How hot is it?
It has been hot in Los Angeles. Yesterday I was sweating like a guy whose wife caught him looking at the Sara Palin-look-alike on the “MILF Librarian” porn site.
So sad
Sadly New England Patriot QB Tom Brady is out for the year with a knee injury. You think you’re upset? Tom is devastated. Not because of football, he can’t run after the super models in New York for fashion week.
New issue
A couple in Florida were arrested after they got in a fight over a hot dog. He grabbed her hot dog off her plate and she stabbed him so he pulled a gun. It’s the cover story for the latest issue of “White Trash Quarterly.”
We kid the Seacrest
Oscar, a 5-year-old Labrador retriever who lives near a golf course in Scotland was heard rattling when he walked. The vet removed 13 golf balls from his stomach. He swallowed so many balls, they had to change his name to Ryan Seacrest.
New record
A surfer in Australia had his board leash tangled on a shark and the shark towed him 150 yards. This also set a world record for the longest trail of surfer excrement. .
Look at ‘em go
It’s fashion week in New York, that’s when it is fun for the tourists to go to Central Park and watch the pigeons and the super models fight over scraps of tossed bread.
Keeping those
John Edwards announced he will cancel all of his speaking engagements until the election so as not to distract from Barack Obama’s campaign. Edwards did say, however, he will honor all of his speed dating appointments.
Come on now
At the MTV VMS awards, host Russell Brand called President Bush a “retarded cowboy.” That is awful, everyone knows the politically correct term is retarded cowperson.
Quaint
In New Mexico, John McCain and Sarah Palin ate at a diner. It was so cute, McCain called the waitress young Missy and Sarah told John not to order the chili because he’d miss his nap because of his gas.
Sarah Smile
I like Sara Palin, she reminds me of the kind of woman who, if you gave her a piece of gum, she would send you a hand-written “Thank You” note.
Signs
It’s fashion week in New York. You can tell, that thing on Donald Trump’s head is wearing an ascot.
How hot is it?
It has been hot in Los Angeles. Yesterday I was sweating like a guy whose wife caught him looking at the Sara Palin-look-alike on the “MILF Librarian” porn site.
So sad
Sadly New England Patriot QB Tom Brady is out for the year with a knee injury. You think you’re upset? Tom is devastated. Not because of football, he can’t run after the super models in New York for fashion week.
New issue
A couple in Florida were arrested after they got in a fight over a hot dog. He grabbed her hot dog off her plate and she stabbed him so he pulled a gun. It’s the cover story for the latest issue of “White Trash Quarterly.”
We kid the Seacrest
Oscar, a 5-year-old Labrador retriever who lives near a golf course in Scotland was heard rattling when he walked. The vet removed 13 golf balls from his stomach. He swallowed so many balls, they had to change his name to Ryan Seacrest.
New record
A surfer in Australia had his board leash tangled on a shark and the shark towed him 150 yards. This also set a world record for the longest trail of surfer excrement. .
Look at ‘em go
It’s fashion week in New York, that’s when it is fun for the tourists to go to Central Park and watch the pigeons and the super models fight over scraps of tossed bread.
Keeping those
John Edwards announced he will cancel all of his speaking engagements until the election so as not to distract from Barack Obama’s campaign. Edwards did say, however, he will honor all of his speed dating appointments.
Come on now
At the MTV VMS awards, host Russell Brand called President Bush a “retarded cowboy.” That is awful, everyone knows the politically correct term is retarded cowperson.
Quaint
In New Mexico, John McCain and Sarah Palin ate at a diner. It was so cute, McCain called the waitress young Missy and Sarah told John not to order the chili because he’d miss his nap because of his gas.
Sarah Smile
I like Sara Palin, she reminds me of the kind of woman who, if you gave her a piece of gum, she would send you a hand-written “Thank You” note.
Signs
It’s fashion week in New York. You can tell, that thing on Donald Trump’s head is wearing an ascot.
posted by Alex at
2:41 PM
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