Get a biscuit on this that there, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
It really is true, the word gullible is not in any dictionary.
Where have I heard that before?
It’s Opening Day in baseball and at the Washington Nationals game, President Bush threw out the first pitch. Unfortunately he didn’t have an exit strategy and he got shelled for nine innings.
A sure sign
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt married Angelina Jolie; I think it’s true, they just adopted a minister.
Ahh, the smell of opening day
It’s opening day at Wrigley Field and the Chicago Cubs have added new seats that auction for thousands of dollars. The seats are so close to the field the fans can smell the bitter resignation on the Cubs players.
It has been one hundred years since the Chicago Cubs have won a World Series. To give you an idea how long it’s been, even John McCain can’t remember the last time the Cubs won a World Series.
Two reasons
Hillary Clinton said she is a Rolling Stones fan. And not just because they named two songs after her, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” and “Bitch.”
What a good idea
Israel announced they are getting rid of their roadblocks to Palestine. After all, what could go wrong with doing that?
What is the matter with that guy?
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. For the love of decency, Eliot Spitzer, get some help.
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. She’s suing American Airlines because it wasn’t something special that was in the air.
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. He claims he was just trying to join the mile high club by himself.
Catchy
Iran is trying to attract American tourists. The Iranian Tourism board’s new motto? “Come for the intolerance, stay for the anger.”
Iran is trying to attract American tourists. “Hey, that’s a great idea. Why don’t we spend our vacation in Iran?” said absolutely nobody.
That will help
Hillary Clinton’s supporters say see should stay in the race until June. Besides, it will be a lot easier for Hillary to dodge snipers when there is no more snow and ice.
Of course
According to a new study, Mexico is now the second fattest nation on Earth, right behind the United States. Of course we are the fattest nation on earth, we got lard-asses like Dr. Phil writing diet books.
She counts like a big girl
“21” was number one at the box office. Or as Jessica Simpson calls it “(Ten fingers) This many and this many (ten fingers) plus one.”
Great comparison
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. He looks great for 64. Especially when he is standing next to Keith Richards.
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. He looks great for 64. And Keith Richards looks good for his age, which is 132 in Keith-Richards-years.
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. Jagger has been busy, he plays himself in an upcoming Martin Scorsese “Stones” documentary titled “Shine a Light” and Mick also plays himself on the HBO series; “John Adams.”
Ouch
Paris Hilton bruised her chin after a run-in with paparazzi outside a Czech Republic restaurant; on one hand it wasn’t the first time that Paris bounced a Czech.
Since you asked:
It is official, there is some odd force in my universe that creates the fact that no matter how uncrowded a store is, there may only be a handful of shoppers in a huge super market, there will be one nob, some tool, some 'moke, some helmet, some yutz, some snork, some oxygen-thief who is standing right in front of whatever it is on the shelf that I need with nothing else in the world to do but stand there in the way and stare as if hypnotized. And possibly on the cell phone with his wife saying:
"Well, they have fat-free and non-fat salad dressing. Which one is better?"
It really is true, the word gullible is not in any dictionary.
Where have I heard that before?
It’s Opening Day in baseball and at the Washington Nationals game, President Bush threw out the first pitch. Unfortunately he didn’t have an exit strategy and he got shelled for nine innings.
A sure sign
Rumor has it that Brad Pitt married Angelina Jolie; I think it’s true, they just adopted a minister.
Ahh, the smell of opening day
It’s opening day at Wrigley Field and the Chicago Cubs have added new seats that auction for thousands of dollars. The seats are so close to the field the fans can smell the bitter resignation on the Cubs players.
It has been one hundred years since the Chicago Cubs have won a World Series. To give you an idea how long it’s been, even John McCain can’t remember the last time the Cubs won a World Series.
Two reasons
Hillary Clinton said she is a Rolling Stones fan. And not just because they named two songs after her, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” and “Bitch.”
What a good idea
Israel announced they are getting rid of their roadblocks to Palestine. After all, what could go wrong with doing that?
What is the matter with that guy?
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. For the love of decency, Eliot Spitzer, get some help.
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. She’s suing American Airlines because it wasn’t something special that was in the air.
A woman is suing American Airlines because the guy next to her masturbated for the entire three- hour flight. He claims he was just trying to join the mile high club by himself.
Catchy
Iran is trying to attract American tourists. The Iranian Tourism board’s new motto? “Come for the intolerance, stay for the anger.”
Iran is trying to attract American tourists. “Hey, that’s a great idea. Why don’t we spend our vacation in Iran?” said absolutely nobody.
That will help
Hillary Clinton’s supporters say see should stay in the race until June. Besides, it will be a lot easier for Hillary to dodge snipers when there is no more snow and ice.
Of course
According to a new study, Mexico is now the second fattest nation on Earth, right behind the United States. Of course we are the fattest nation on earth, we got lard-asses like Dr. Phil writing diet books.
She counts like a big girl
“21” was number one at the box office. Or as Jessica Simpson calls it “(Ten fingers) This many and this many (ten fingers) plus one.”
Great comparison
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. He looks great for 64. Especially when he is standing next to Keith Richards.
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. He looks great for 64. And Keith Richards looks good for his age, which is 132 in Keith-Richards-years.
“The Rolling Stones” Mick Jagger was the cover story for “Parade” magazine. Jagger has been busy, he plays himself in an upcoming Martin Scorsese “Stones” documentary titled “Shine a Light” and Mick also plays himself on the HBO series; “John Adams.”
Ouch
Paris Hilton bruised her chin after a run-in with paparazzi outside a Czech Republic restaurant; on one hand it wasn’t the first time that Paris bounced a Czech.
Since you asked:
It is official, there is some odd force in my universe that creates the fact that no matter how uncrowded a store is, there may only be a handful of shoppers in a huge super market, there will be one nob, some tool, some 'moke, some helmet, some yutz, some snork, some oxygen-thief who is standing right in front of whatever it is on the shelf that I need with nothing else in the world to do but stand there in the way and stare as if hypnotized. And possibly on the cell phone with his wife saying:
"Well, they have fat-free and non-fat salad dressing. Which one is better?"
posted by Alex at
9:02 AM
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