Not exactly toting the rock and taking it to the paint up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

So mean
Good news. The two whales stranded in the Sacramento river are close to getting back to the ocean. They named the two whales Delta and Dawn. Which is probably nicer than the first idea to call the two lost whales: Rosie and O’Donnell.


A collaboration with the always hilarious Janice Hough
Hillary Clinton has asked YouTube viewers to help her pick a campaign theme song; Hillary has requested, however, no more submissions of the Rolling Stones “She's so Cold” “Bitch” and Aerosmith's “Dude Looks Like A Lady.”

Quite a Comeback
The Duke’s men Lacrosse team made it to the NCAA championship game after missing the previous season due to being on trial; so there is still hope for the Cincinnati Bengals.

Hate to see that
One of the celebrity judges at the Miss USA pageant was Dallas Cowboy quarterback, Tony Romo. There was an embarrassing moment when Romo tried to throw a kiss at Miss USA, missed, and Miss Canada intercepted the kiss and ran it back for a touchdown.

The winner of the Miss USA pagaent was Miss Japan. Miss USA, nee Miss Japan, is so scorchingly beautiful the eyes almost popped out of the rodent on Donald Trump's head.

USA, USA, US . . .oops
At the Miss Universe pageant in Mexico, Miss USA was booed by the Mexican crowd during her speech. Apparently the audience was upset with the United States because they were the only people not allowed to sneak into it.

Since you asked:
Is it just me or am I the only sports loving guy who would have to care a lot more to not give a rat’s ass about the NBA playoffs? Granted, LaBron James is truly amazing and I will DVR the game tonight to catch his act. But everyone else? They might as well rename the NBA playoffs the Tour De France because nobody cares about that in the US now either.

Maybe it comes from living in a city with no NBA team but that didn't stop me during the Magic/Bird era and when Jordan was stacking up championships for my hometown. Then I was a huge fan.

A buddy of mine who is also a huge sports fan, albeit a misguided St. Louis Cardinals fan, had the same discussion. Who is spending all of their money at NBA games when we don't even want to watch them on TV? It isn't anyone I know, it isn't anyone who knows anyone I know.

We both agreed the only way we would see an NBA game is if somebody agreed to pay for our tickets, fly us there on a private jet and have a Limo meet us at the airport to take us to our courtside seats next to the cheerleaders.

Maloof brothers, are you reading this? We can be bought. Oh yes, we can be bought.