Monday, June 04, 2007

Lex’s celebrity insight via the casting of “Knocked Up”:

Do you want an insight into how vapid, shallow and banal the top Hollywood actresses are?

(Put on the hairdryers and file your nails)

In some entertainment-type magazine I read that Judd Apatow, still with amazing heat following the huge hit “40 Year-Old Virgin” which Seth Rogan stole in a break-out performance, Apatow started auditioning the top-of-the-top hottest most beautiful Hollywood actresses to play the stunning lead actress to Rogan’s every guy lovable jamoke slacker in “Knocked Up.”

(Now, I know a real smart and funny woman who said she didn’t get “FYOV” and I can see why. It is sort of a guy’s movie. And I can see why women would not want to think guys are like the way they are portrayed in “FYOV” but I got bad news for you: we are just like that. But regardless, it was a huge hit at the box office, costing a Hollywood low $26 million and earning over $110 million)

Get this.

The first dozen actresses Apatow auditioned ignored and or were rude to his good friend, Seth Rogan, during the auditions and did not laugh at his improvisational lines –that is how Apatow works. It turns out those actresses thought Rogan was some smart-ass writer reading lines and not the lead actor and brushed him off. Ann Hathaway, however, was so gorgeous that she was hired for the role, despite being rude to Rogan, for her incredible looks and her name’s box office pull.

But then Apatow bounced Hathaway’s pretty ass off the set. Yay, Judd. Creative differences my tookus, it turns out Hathaway was a stuck up, humorless snit.

(Note to self: do not go to any Ann Hathaway movies)

Here is my question: how far are up their own butts are the heads of the top Hollywood actresses when they audition for the director for a lead role in a major motion picture when they haven’t bothered to have seen that director’s biggest hit? And why wouldn’t they even try to be nice to the guy who they are reading lines with, even if he is some director’s lacky?

And if they did see “FYOV” they obviously didn’t remember it, or they would have remembered Rogan. How do you forget a guy who, when finding out Steve Carell’s character, Andy, has a new hot girlfriend who is a grandmother, says;

“My grandmother looks like Jack Palance. If my grandmother looked like her I’d want to f*@k Jack Palance.”

Imagine an actress showing up for an audition with Martin Scorsese:

“Gosh, nice to meet you, Mr. Scorsese. Love your work. No I don’t believe I’ve seen this gentleman before. Nice to meet you Mr, uh, is it De Naru? Sorry, DeNiro.”

Kathy Heigl at least knew who Rogan was and she laughed like crazy at his fast wit. And yes, she is beautiful. And tall, like Rogan.

Now, I’m not gay – not that there is anything wrong with it – but, to quote Rogan’s Cal in “FYOV” wanna’ know how I know I’m gay? I don’t think Rogan is all that bad looking. Conceptually I can see how a babe like Heigl could drink him sexy and do the nasty. Humor, as well as booze, is a big aphrodisiac for many many babes.

Hey, I’m married to my hot babe wife, Virginia, aren’t I? Some of our friends are still scratching their heads at that one.