Monday, April 16, 2007

It is hard out here

We gonna do the do that we do to the do that we do. Come on now, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Go on YouTube, search “Awesome Bowling Trick Shot.” Norm Duke slowly spins a ball down the lane, throws a second ball that takes out nine pins and then the first ball picks up the spare. It is such a cool shot that one woman almost thought of having sex with a bowler.

Hit just hit him
After losing three games at Wrigley Field, Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella lost his temper at a press conference. Apparently it just sunk in to Lou he’s the manager of the Chicago Cubs.

Hi-tech d*ckheads
A consumer survey reveals hi-tech users prefer WiMAX over cellular and WiFi services. In addition, 80% thought people who have Bluetooth phones on their ear look like d#ckheads.

Enough already
The widow of the great Jackie Robinson, Rachel Robinson, was on hand at a ceremony before the Los Angeles Dodger and San Diego Padres game. Rachel Robinson was escorted on the field by baseball commissioner Bud Selig. Bud Selig? Come on, hasn’t this woman been through enough?

Not enough
In honor of the 60th anniversary of the debut of the great Jackie Robinson, many teams wore his number 42. The Florida Marlins tried to take that to another step and award their 42nd fan in attendance, but, sadly, only 38 showed.

Bad girl, bad
Prince William and girlfriend, Kate Middleton, have broken up; the English tabloids have described the sexy brunette Kate as naughty-looking. How naughty? The kind of gal who says; “Momma needs her a spanking” without taking the unfiltered Marlboro out of her mouth.

Since you asked:

No lie. Yesterday, a 20-ish bartender/waiter asked me in all seriousness:

“Have you ever heard of YouTube?”

It took everything I had not to say in my best you-punks-get-off-my-lawn-old-codger-voice:

“By crimminy, I don’t cotton to those dang new fangled ee- lectrickity contraptions, dag nabbit.”