Friday, April 20, 2007

Get on up on it, get on up on it, uh huh, uh huh, dat’s right, we bad, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Millions of BlackBerry users lost service Tuesday night for more than 10 hours. Addicted BlackBerry users were seen talking into their garage door openers, stereo remotes. It was sad.

Size wise
A group of Starbucks employees is trying to form a union; they want to go from their single short sized salaries to a triple Vente salary.

How wet is it?
The rain finally stopped back East. To give you an idea how bad the rain was in New York, the rats at Taco Bell have grown gills.

(Say gills in a Johnny Carson/Zach Braff giiiiillllls kinda way)

Sayonara Sanjaya
Sanjaya was voted off “American Idol.” You know somebody is bad when even the website “Vote for the Worst ” finally turns on someone.

Sanjaya was voted off “American Idol.” But don’t feel bad for Sanjaya, he has a long career ahead of him using his voice: “Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?”

Assist to Mark “O’Snickity Snake” O’Connor
The Boston Globe reports that presidential candidate John Edwards paid $400 for a haircut. Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton said; “Did yours come with a happy ending too?”

And you don’t want to know what Edwards paid for his bikini wax.

Oh, nous plaisantons avec le français.
Scientists say a chicken descended from a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Can you believe that? A T. Rex evolved into a chicken? But it does explain the French . . .

IndyCar rookie Milka Duno is going to join Danica Patrick and Sarah Fisher in the first Indy 500 with three women in the field. People find that surprising. I don’t. Anyone who doesn’t think women can drive fast hasn’t seen a soccer mom leaving Starbucks late for her yoga class.

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see . . .
Prince William has broken up with his pretty girlfriend, Kate Middleton. William figured that, as a prince, he could do better. Then he took a long look at Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla Parker Bowles, and screamed;

“Kate, come back. I miss you. I miss us.”

Since you asked:

My question about Fergie, of The Blackeyed Peas, has always been: hot or scary? She answered that Wednesday nicht on “American Idle” (Yes I know I spelled it that way) Man oh man. Even Sanjaya wanted him some of that. Fergie got that mean alley cat thing happening. Grrrraarrarrraroow.

And Martina McBride? Yikes. She is awesome. I envy the young dude what gets courgar’d by her. Mixed emotions about Sanjaya getting the boot. Yes it was about time, but he did bring excitement to the shows. And he seems like a sweet kid with a good heart.

But that hair gots to go. It gots to go.

My favorite? Melinda looks like the front runner but it is a tight pack. Chicks out ahead of Dudes.