It is hard out here
We ain’t here to start no trouble we’re just here to do the Super Bowl shuffle, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Not since then
A woman in Oklahoma had a 93-pound tumor removed. This is the biggest tumor removal since Britney Spears divorced Kevin Federline.
Co-written with Janice Hough
Archaeologists have uncovered an ancient village for festival-goers near Stonehenge in England. Not only that, they now know that Stonehenge was named after the first band to perform at the ancient village: The Rolling Stones.
Not fair
France has joined other European countries in a battle to force Apple to allow iTunes downloads on non-Apple music players. Apple would be concerned that France has joined in a battle against them except for the fact that Apple’s military is far mightier than France’s.
So sad
First Barbaro, now more sad news. It seems “Greys Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington suffered a set back at gay rehab. At dinner Isaiah told a Clay Aiken joke, now he may have to be put down.
A little confused
Are you excited about the Super Bowl? President Bush is excited about the Super Bowl but he is confused as to why everyone is so eager to take his bets on the Dallas Cowboys.
A Police action
The Police will reunite to perform at the Grammys. For their first act, the Police will arrest Snoop Dog.
A good fit
The Texas Rangers will sign Sammy Sosa for $500,000 if he makes the roster. They feel that Sosa could fill in a spot in their lineup tighter than cork in a bat or a steroid needle in the butt.
Off he goes
The San Francisco Giants have agreed to sign Barry Bonds unless he gets indicted. If Bonds does get indicted he will be immediately traded to the Cincinnati Bengals.
A technical name for those men
According to a poll conducted by a Colorado brewery, many men consider the Super Bowl more important than Valentine's Day. There is a word that describes men like this. They’re called guys.
Paula Abdul is acting nuttier and nuttier on “American Idol.” Did you see the last episode in Birmingham? Paula wore a really ugly toupee and told the losing contestants; “You’re fired.”
Suddenly he is doing better
There is good news; “Grey’s Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington’s gay rehab has been doing well. Today Isaiah gay rehab improved from fabulous to fierce.
Say it ain’t so, Joe
Del. Sen. Joe Biden announced he is running for President despite a history of twice getting caught plagiarizing. When asked to comment on his plagiarizing charges, Biden said; “Well, like I always say; Men of few words are the best men. Or was that Shakespeare?”
All growds up
Dan Radcliffe, the actor who played Harry Potter, appears nude in a play in London. Not to get too graphic, but Dan is getting older, you can actually see that his Potter is Harry.
Dan Radcliffe, the actor who played Harry Potter, appears nude in a play in London. Not to get too critical, but rumor has it his wand ain’t so magic.
Step off, Beyaaatch
Leonardo DiCaprio is nominated for an Oscar for his lead role in “Blood Diamond.” Leonardo got beefed up for that movie. In fact, Leonardo worked out so much that if they filmed “Titanic” today, he could have kicked Kate Winslett’s ass off of that raft.
Yeah, Lex, its for them
A brewery in Belgium has made a beer for dogs. Who is this for, those dogs who have to drink that ugly dog’s butt pretty before they’ll sniff it?
Thank you
Penelope Cruz is nominated for best actress for “Volver.” Penelope continues to deny the rumors that she and Selma Hayek are much more than friends. For those of you who haven’t heard that rumor and are now picturing Selma and Penelope together, you’re quite welcome.
Since you asked:
Since there doesn’t seem to be anyone on the Bears or the Colts who want to start any kind of controversy, all the good people here at a.l.B.b. agree it is time to start a controversy, or whip on the ‘versy as my peeps say if I had peeps.
The Bears want to beat up on the Colts because Peyton Manning is a punk-ass.
As I mentioned before, I am so over Manning throwing his linemen under the bus after his playoff choke last year.
And how would you like to be their offensive coordinator when Manning acts like he is creating and inventing every play at the line of scrimmage? Those plays were designed before hand by the coaches but to all the world it looks like Peyton is creating them on the spot.
And Peyton has never, ever thrown a bad pass. He just has receivers who run the wrong routes which he is more than happy to non-verbally indicate on live national TV.
As I have also mentioned before, before the Colts Patriots game they showed an old family video clip of Peyton playing football as a six-year-old kid with his older brother Cooper. Peyton gets tackled and immediately starts crying and whining and screaming. Very insightful.
As long as I am spreading Manning dirt, let’s discuss the patriarch, Archie. Yes, he is beloved in Mississippi, but I have good sources who say he is a cranky egomaniac. And how about the way he ham-fistedly screwed up his boy Eli’s being drafted to San Diego by demanding a trade to New York. It pissed off everybody in San Diego and now, due to Eli’s lousy play, it is pissing off New York.
And exactly when does Manning have the time to study all of the films he loves to claim he studies when he is clearly spending all of his time filming commercial after commercial?
Mark my words, Brian Urlacher is going to be so far up Manning’s Peyton he will get a percentage of Manning’s commercials.
Not since then
A woman in Oklahoma had a 93-pound tumor removed. This is the biggest tumor removal since Britney Spears divorced Kevin Federline.
Co-written with Janice Hough
Archaeologists have uncovered an ancient village for festival-goers near Stonehenge in England. Not only that, they now know that Stonehenge was named after the first band to perform at the ancient village: The Rolling Stones.
Not fair
France has joined other European countries in a battle to force Apple to allow iTunes downloads on non-Apple music players. Apple would be concerned that France has joined in a battle against them except for the fact that Apple’s military is far mightier than France’s.
So sad
First Barbaro, now more sad news. It seems “Greys Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington suffered a set back at gay rehab. At dinner Isaiah told a Clay Aiken joke, now he may have to be put down.
A little confused
Are you excited about the Super Bowl? President Bush is excited about the Super Bowl but he is confused as to why everyone is so eager to take his bets on the Dallas Cowboys.
A Police action
The Police will reunite to perform at the Grammys. For their first act, the Police will arrest Snoop Dog.
A good fit
The Texas Rangers will sign Sammy Sosa for $500,000 if he makes the roster. They feel that Sosa could fill in a spot in their lineup tighter than cork in a bat or a steroid needle in the butt.
Off he goes
The San Francisco Giants have agreed to sign Barry Bonds unless he gets indicted. If Bonds does get indicted he will be immediately traded to the Cincinnati Bengals.
A technical name for those men
According to a poll conducted by a Colorado brewery, many men consider the Super Bowl more important than Valentine's Day. There is a word that describes men like this. They’re called guys.
Paula Abdul is acting nuttier and nuttier on “American Idol.” Did you see the last episode in Birmingham? Paula wore a really ugly toupee and told the losing contestants; “You’re fired.”
Suddenly he is doing better
There is good news; “Grey’s Anatomy” star Isaiah Washington’s gay rehab has been doing well. Today Isaiah gay rehab improved from fabulous to fierce.
Say it ain’t so, Joe
Del. Sen. Joe Biden announced he is running for President despite a history of twice getting caught plagiarizing. When asked to comment on his plagiarizing charges, Biden said; “Well, like I always say; Men of few words are the best men. Or was that Shakespeare?”
All growds up
Dan Radcliffe, the actor who played Harry Potter, appears nude in a play in London. Not to get too graphic, but Dan is getting older, you can actually see that his Potter is Harry.
Dan Radcliffe, the actor who played Harry Potter, appears nude in a play in London. Not to get too critical, but rumor has it his wand ain’t so magic.
Step off, Beyaaatch
Leonardo DiCaprio is nominated for an Oscar for his lead role in “Blood Diamond.” Leonardo got beefed up for that movie. In fact, Leonardo worked out so much that if they filmed “Titanic” today, he could have kicked Kate Winslett’s ass off of that raft.
Yeah, Lex, its for them
A brewery in Belgium has made a beer for dogs. Who is this for, those dogs who have to drink that ugly dog’s butt pretty before they’ll sniff it?
Thank you
Penelope Cruz is nominated for best actress for “Volver.” Penelope continues to deny the rumors that she and Selma Hayek are much more than friends. For those of you who haven’t heard that rumor and are now picturing Selma and Penelope together, you’re quite welcome.
Since you asked:
Since there doesn’t seem to be anyone on the Bears or the Colts who want to start any kind of controversy, all the good people here at a.l.B.b. agree it is time to start a controversy, or whip on the ‘versy as my peeps say if I had peeps.
The Bears want to beat up on the Colts because Peyton Manning is a punk-ass.
As I mentioned before, I am so over Manning throwing his linemen under the bus after his playoff choke last year.
And how would you like to be their offensive coordinator when Manning acts like he is creating and inventing every play at the line of scrimmage? Those plays were designed before hand by the coaches but to all the world it looks like Peyton is creating them on the spot.
And Peyton has never, ever thrown a bad pass. He just has receivers who run the wrong routes which he is more than happy to non-verbally indicate on live national TV.
As I have also mentioned before, before the Colts Patriots game they showed an old family video clip of Peyton playing football as a six-year-old kid with his older brother Cooper. Peyton gets tackled and immediately starts crying and whining and screaming. Very insightful.
As long as I am spreading Manning dirt, let’s discuss the patriarch, Archie. Yes, he is beloved in Mississippi, but I have good sources who say he is a cranky egomaniac. And how about the way he ham-fistedly screwed up his boy Eli’s being drafted to San Diego by demanding a trade to New York. It pissed off everybody in San Diego and now, due to Eli’s lousy play, it is pissing off New York.
And exactly when does Manning have the time to study all of the films he loves to claim he studies when he is clearly spending all of his time filming commercial after commercial?
Mark my words, Brian Urlacher is going to be so far up Manning’s Peyton he will get a percentage of Manning’s commercials.
posted by Alex at
7:34 AM
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