It is hard out here
Shake your junk and throw down the funk, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
Hate to hear that
John Kerry is not going to run for President in 2008. It’s probably just as well, the last time Kerry threw his hat into the ring, his head is so big, the hat broke the ring.
The final tally
President Bush gave his State of the Union address. The speech was 49 minutes long and was interrupted 62 times by applause and three times by Dick Cheney’s heart attacks.
She is out of here
There is a bill introduced in California to ban spanking. Upon hearing this, Paris Hilton, put her Beverly Hills mansion up for sale.
Not good
President Bush gave his State of the Union address. Did you see Vice President Dick Cheney sitting next to house majority leader Nancy Pelosi? Pelosi and Cheney looked like the worst MySpace date ever.
President Bush gave his State of the Union address last night. House Majority leader Nancy Pelosi did not look happy. At any second I expected Pelosi to put President Bush in a time out.
Analysts described President Bush’s State of the Union speech as somber; in fact, the speech was so somber that Vice President Dick Cheney wasn’t the crankiest looking person there.
Attention Deficit whatever-it’s-called
This Friday “Epic Movie” opens, it combines about ten hit movies into one; how bad is our attention deficit disorder when they have to combine ten movies into . . . oh my gosh, a women in a white blouse.
That’s a lot of work
President Bush gave his State of the Union address last night and Hillary Clinton gave a rebuttal; rumor has it that Hillary has had millions of dollars of plastic surgery. In fact, Hillary has had so much work done that Bill accidentally hit on her.
Quite a scene
At his speech, President Bush introduced the man who threw himself on top of a fallen stranger to save him from getting hit by a subway train. To give you and idea how brave that act was, all the New Yorkers on the platform who saw it happen actually stopped urinating to applaud.
Sad
It’s finally official David Gest and Liza Minelli’s marriage is over; in fact, David has already begun not having sex with other women.
What a coinky dinky
A survey revealed that women say the most dateable men’s jobs are doctors, architects and lawyers. In a shocking coincidence, the highest paying jobs are doctors, architects and lawyers.
Maybe it was just me
At the State of the Union speech last night did you Laura Bush sitting next to Seven foot NBA star Dikembe Mutombo? When they stood up, Laura Bush looked like the arcade game where you pound the gopher down into the hole.
Since you asked:
Here is my eight-year-old daughter Ann Caroline’s favorite joke. I told it to her after I heard Larry Miller tell it on “The Aristocrats.” Please, do not confuse that with Disney’s “The Aristocats.” “The Aristocrats” is gloriously filthy and not suited for anyone but thick skinned adults. But this joke is great for kids.
Cut to: a primordial fetid swamp with dragon flies buzzing, mosquitoes and bats swarming, crocodiles scurrying down the river banks and snakes slithering through the thick overgrown gnarled vines overhead.
Slowly two hippopotamus heads gradually emerge from the steaming murky water. One hippo tilts his head towards the other and says;
“I just can’t seem to get it in my head it’s Tuesday.”
Hate to hear that
John Kerry is not going to run for President in 2008. It’s probably just as well, the last time Kerry threw his hat into the ring, his head is so big, the hat broke the ring.
The final tally
President Bush gave his State of the Union address. The speech was 49 minutes long and was interrupted 62 times by applause and three times by Dick Cheney’s heart attacks.
She is out of here
There is a bill introduced in California to ban spanking. Upon hearing this, Paris Hilton, put her Beverly Hills mansion up for sale.
Not good
President Bush gave his State of the Union address. Did you see Vice President Dick Cheney sitting next to house majority leader Nancy Pelosi? Pelosi and Cheney looked like the worst MySpace date ever.
President Bush gave his State of the Union address last night. House Majority leader Nancy Pelosi did not look happy. At any second I expected Pelosi to put President Bush in a time out.
Analysts described President Bush’s State of the Union speech as somber; in fact, the speech was so somber that Vice President Dick Cheney wasn’t the crankiest looking person there.
Attention Deficit whatever-it’s-called
This Friday “Epic Movie” opens, it combines about ten hit movies into one; how bad is our attention deficit disorder when they have to combine ten movies into . . . oh my gosh, a women in a white blouse.
That’s a lot of work
President Bush gave his State of the Union address last night and Hillary Clinton gave a rebuttal; rumor has it that Hillary has had millions of dollars of plastic surgery. In fact, Hillary has had so much work done that Bill accidentally hit on her.
Quite a scene
At his speech, President Bush introduced the man who threw himself on top of a fallen stranger to save him from getting hit by a subway train. To give you and idea how brave that act was, all the New Yorkers on the platform who saw it happen actually stopped urinating to applaud.
Sad
It’s finally official David Gest and Liza Minelli’s marriage is over; in fact, David has already begun not having sex with other women.
What a coinky dinky
A survey revealed that women say the most dateable men’s jobs are doctors, architects and lawyers. In a shocking coincidence, the highest paying jobs are doctors, architects and lawyers.
Maybe it was just me
At the State of the Union speech last night did you Laura Bush sitting next to Seven foot NBA star Dikembe Mutombo? When they stood up, Laura Bush looked like the arcade game where you pound the gopher down into the hole.
Since you asked:
Here is my eight-year-old daughter Ann Caroline’s favorite joke. I told it to her after I heard Larry Miller tell it on “The Aristocrats.” Please, do not confuse that with Disney’s “The Aristocats.” “The Aristocrats” is gloriously filthy and not suited for anyone but thick skinned adults. But this joke is great for kids.
Cut to: a primordial fetid swamp with dragon flies buzzing, mosquitoes and bats swarming, crocodiles scurrying down the river banks and snakes slithering through the thick overgrown gnarled vines overhead.
Slowly two hippopotamus heads gradually emerge from the steaming murky water. One hippo tilts his head towards the other and says;
“I just can’t seem to get it in my head it’s Tuesday.”
posted by Alex at
11:19 AM
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