It is hard out here
What? What? What? What, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers?
There is a new show called “Armed and Famous” that stars LaToya Jackson, Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne, Trish Stratus and Jason Acuna. So I guess that means they aren’t really armed either.
I guess the name “Armed and Untalented” didn’t work with focus groups.
France has joined a group that is protesting Apple to allow downloads on non-Apple products. This might be a concern for Apple if they weren’t already more powerful than France.
Al Gore’s global warming documentary “Inconvenient Truth” was nominated for an Oscar. Don’t worry, if Al Gore wins and gives a speech, the audience will be provided with cyanide pills.
This global warming is serious. At President Bush’s State of the Union speech, the temperature was so hot it almost melted the icy stares from Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton.
There is trouble with the Philadelphia Eagles. Apparently injured quarterback Donovan McNabb is in a real hissy fit about all the attention being given to his 6-1 replacement, Jeff Garcia. In fact, McNabb is throwing such a tantrum that even Terrell Owens told him to grow up.
Greys Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington announced he has checked into rehab for homophobia for saying a gay slur. Apparently it is a 12-dance-step program.
Greys Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington announced he has checked into rehab for saying a gay slur on the set. It’s a tough program. You have to sit there and watch a recording of the Broadway musical “Cats.”
You can’t leave the homophobic rehab center until you can quote Oscar Wilde and bake a spinach quiche.
In an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Dick Cheney got angry when he was asked a question about his pregnant lesbian daughter. Cheney was so mad he threw his red pitch fork at him.
Ford announced a record $12.7 billion loss in 2006. Ford, where quality is job one and cleaning out your desk is job two.
The Council of American-Islamic relations have renewed their objections of Muslims being portrayed as terrorists on Fox’s “24.” In fact, the Muslims object so much to being portrayed as terrorists, they are going to blow up Fox with a nuclear bomb.
A woman parachutist who was involved in a love triangle fell to her death and police suspect the spurned man tampered with her chute. He got the idea of having her plunge to the ground from watching the Oakland Raiders.
As you know, John Kerry announced his is not going to run for President in 2008; oh, I’m hearing something in my earpiece. What’s that? Oh, now John Kerry is going to run. Wait, there’s another . . . no, Kerry is out again.
Kerry’s campaign adviser could tell Kerry was upset about not running. He asked; “John, why the long face?”
Restaurant workers are mad at a Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl commercial that depicts Kevin Federline working at a fast food joint. They say it’s insulting to restaurant workers. Oh please. Listen, if you’re 35 and cleaning the deep fryer, don’t kid yourself, you’re living the dream, my friend, living the dream.
Restaurant workers are mad at a Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl commercial that depicts Kevin Federline working at a fast food joint. They say it insults restaurant workers. Yeah, in fact, today five McDonalds employees were so upset they actually got somebody’s order right.
Since you asked:
Ann Caroline’s latest thing:.
Whenever we leave the house, Ann Caroline rides me like a 50 peso burro and fusses at me at length if I do not immediately lock the front door. For whatever reason, she has it firmly in her little blonde head that if we are robbed, the first - and possibly only thing - the horde of blood thirsty thieves will steal is her beloved blue plush bunny Blueberry.
So, of course, it gives me no end of pleasure to tell her when we get home from school or soccer;
“Gosh, did I lock the house? I hope so because there was this creepy guy wandering around the neighborhood who said he was looking for blue bunnies.”
Or
“Oh no, the garage side door was open, I sure hope the dogs didn’t get Blueberry.”
After a yelling a thoroughly disgusted and fed up sounding; “Daaaahhhhhhhd” A.C. then bolts up to her room to check on Blueberry.
Ahh, the joy of fatherhood. Thy name is messing with thine own children.
There is a new show called “Armed and Famous” that stars LaToya Jackson, Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne, Trish Stratus and Jason Acuna. So I guess that means they aren’t really armed either.
I guess the name “Armed and Untalented” didn’t work with focus groups.
France has joined a group that is protesting Apple to allow downloads on non-Apple products. This might be a concern for Apple if they weren’t already more powerful than France.
Al Gore’s global warming documentary “Inconvenient Truth” was nominated for an Oscar. Don’t worry, if Al Gore wins and gives a speech, the audience will be provided with cyanide pills.
This global warming is serious. At President Bush’s State of the Union speech, the temperature was so hot it almost melted the icy stares from Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton.
There is trouble with the Philadelphia Eagles. Apparently injured quarterback Donovan McNabb is in a real hissy fit about all the attention being given to his 6-1 replacement, Jeff Garcia. In fact, McNabb is throwing such a tantrum that even Terrell Owens told him to grow up.
Greys Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington announced he has checked into rehab for homophobia for saying a gay slur. Apparently it is a 12-dance-step program.
Greys Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington announced he has checked into rehab for saying a gay slur on the set. It’s a tough program. You have to sit there and watch a recording of the Broadway musical “Cats.”
You can’t leave the homophobic rehab center until you can quote Oscar Wilde and bake a spinach quiche.
In an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Dick Cheney got angry when he was asked a question about his pregnant lesbian daughter. Cheney was so mad he threw his red pitch fork at him.
Ford announced a record $12.7 billion loss in 2006. Ford, where quality is job one and cleaning out your desk is job two.
The Council of American-Islamic relations have renewed their objections of Muslims being portrayed as terrorists on Fox’s “24.” In fact, the Muslims object so much to being portrayed as terrorists, they are going to blow up Fox with a nuclear bomb.
A woman parachutist who was involved in a love triangle fell to her death and police suspect the spurned man tampered with her chute. He got the idea of having her plunge to the ground from watching the Oakland Raiders.
As you know, John Kerry announced his is not going to run for President in 2008; oh, I’m hearing something in my earpiece. What’s that? Oh, now John Kerry is going to run. Wait, there’s another . . . no, Kerry is out again.
Kerry’s campaign adviser could tell Kerry was upset about not running. He asked; “John, why the long face?”
Restaurant workers are mad at a Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl commercial that depicts Kevin Federline working at a fast food joint. They say it’s insulting to restaurant workers. Oh please. Listen, if you’re 35 and cleaning the deep fryer, don’t kid yourself, you’re living the dream, my friend, living the dream.
Restaurant workers are mad at a Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl commercial that depicts Kevin Federline working at a fast food joint. They say it insults restaurant workers. Yeah, in fact, today five McDonalds employees were so upset they actually got somebody’s order right.
Since you asked:
Ann Caroline’s latest thing:.
Whenever we leave the house, Ann Caroline rides me like a 50 peso burro and fusses at me at length if I do not immediately lock the front door. For whatever reason, she has it firmly in her little blonde head that if we are robbed, the first - and possibly only thing - the horde of blood thirsty thieves will steal is her beloved blue plush bunny Blueberry.
So, of course, it gives me no end of pleasure to tell her when we get home from school or soccer;
“Gosh, did I lock the house? I hope so because there was this creepy guy wandering around the neighborhood who said he was looking for blue bunnies.”
Or
“Oh no, the garage side door was open, I sure hope the dogs didn’t get Blueberry.”
After a yelling a thoroughly disgusted and fed up sounding; “Daaaahhhhhhhd” A.C. then bolts up to her room to check on Blueberry.
Ahh, the joy of fatherhood. Thy name is messing with thine own children.
posted by Alex at
10:19 AM
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