It is hard out here
Get wit dat and hit dat ‘til you quit dat, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers
San Diego is reeling from the Chargers 24-21 upset by the New England Patriots. A depressing loss followed by cold weather. It’s like we are honorary Chicago Cubs fans.
After the fog of war has cleared it is apparent that the stupidest play in a long line of stupid plays by the San Diego Chargers was Drayton Florence’s head butt that turned a stop into a Patriot first down. That move was so bad Florence was named an honorary Oakland Raider.
One of the worst aspects of the San Diego Charger’s 24-21 upset to the New England Patriots was losing to a coach, Bill Belichick who was wearing a dumpy grey cut-off sweatshirt that a homeless person would ask; “Are you really going to wear that?”
The big question is whether the San Diego Chargers will fire their coach, Marty Schotenberg, after going 14-2 but losing their first playoff game; I say don’t fire him, just punish him by slathering him in barbeque sauce and sicking Rosie O’Donnell on him.
Things could be worse for the Charger fans, they could be dead like, Yvonne DeCarlo who played Lily Munster, who passed away at 84. In her memoirs, DeCarlo listed all of her 22 lovers. When asked to comment, Paris Hilton said; “22 lovers? That is so adorable.”
Or as Paris Hilton calls 22 lovers, January.
The F.A.A. is considering raising the mandatory retirement age for pilots from 60 to 65. This could result in the first intercontinental flight to fly across the country with its blinker on.
The ratings for Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice: L.A.” were up and Rosie O’Donnell and “The Views” ratings are up 24%. Upon hearing this, Courtney Cox of the low-rated FX show “Dirt” announced that Donald Trump has gone bankrupt and Rosie O’Donnell is a fat loser.
Since you asked:
The premiere of “American Idol” was last night in Minneapolis and 10,000 people showed up and only 17 made the cut; where were all the people who sing in school and church choirs and bar bands? These people had to be the only 10,000 people in the city who can’t sing a note.
One of the bands I play harmonica with has a woman who is an incredible singer. Luckily both bands I play for have good singers but this girl has some serious pipes. I mean she is great. We didn’t know how lucky we were to have her. Now we do.
This woman does a lot of Sheryl Crowe songs – and I like Sheryl Crowe – except that she does them better than Sheryl Crowe. She can sound just like Linda Rondstadt. And she does it without any of that annoying pitch, listen-to-me-sing-all-over-the-place-Christine Agulera –crap that is so over.
It is painful for me to watch the idiots try out for "AI". That poor big girl who auditioned because she could sound like the Cowardly lion in the “Wizard of Oz?” Not to brag, but I can do a dead-on Cowardly Lion impression and I wouldn’t try out for “American Idol” if you threatened me with death if I didn’t. She broke my heart. She even made a little “Wizard of Oz” sign for Simon, Jewel, that dog guy and Paula and they didn’t want it. It broke my heart but doesn’t that poor, sweet girls have anyone who could give her tough love to tell her not to make a fool out of herself?
But the other morons are fun to hate. It gives you an idea how overly-entitled we are when people who cannot sing a single damn note are infuriated that they did not make the cut. Not only that, but they go into it positive that they will win the whole thing.
Listen, it is easy to sit back and do nothing and criticize, that is why the show is so amazingly popular. The people who try out are at least doing something. How about the countless millions of losers who also can’t sing but who sit on their fat asses insulting the people who try? They are the true silent majority big time losers.
Don’t make me quote Teddy Roosevelt again on how it’s not the poor, cold timid souls of the bitter critics who count. Oh, no I dih-ent, here I go again:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
You go, Ted-Bear, you go. You cold and timid souls know who you are, Dil Dolan and Stupor Stenchie.
San Diego is reeling from the Chargers 24-21 upset by the New England Patriots. A depressing loss followed by cold weather. It’s like we are honorary Chicago Cubs fans.
After the fog of war has cleared it is apparent that the stupidest play in a long line of stupid plays by the San Diego Chargers was Drayton Florence’s head butt that turned a stop into a Patriot first down. That move was so bad Florence was named an honorary Oakland Raider.
One of the worst aspects of the San Diego Charger’s 24-21 upset to the New England Patriots was losing to a coach, Bill Belichick who was wearing a dumpy grey cut-off sweatshirt that a homeless person would ask; “Are you really going to wear that?”
The big question is whether the San Diego Chargers will fire their coach, Marty Schotenberg, after going 14-2 but losing their first playoff game; I say don’t fire him, just punish him by slathering him in barbeque sauce and sicking Rosie O’Donnell on him.
Things could be worse for the Charger fans, they could be dead like, Yvonne DeCarlo who played Lily Munster, who passed away at 84. In her memoirs, DeCarlo listed all of her 22 lovers. When asked to comment, Paris Hilton said; “22 lovers? That is so adorable.”
Or as Paris Hilton calls 22 lovers, January.
The F.A.A. is considering raising the mandatory retirement age for pilots from 60 to 65. This could result in the first intercontinental flight to fly across the country with its blinker on.
The ratings for Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice: L.A.” were up and Rosie O’Donnell and “The Views” ratings are up 24%. Upon hearing this, Courtney Cox of the low-rated FX show “Dirt” announced that Donald Trump has gone bankrupt and Rosie O’Donnell is a fat loser.
Since you asked:
The premiere of “American Idol” was last night in Minneapolis and 10,000 people showed up and only 17 made the cut; where were all the people who sing in school and church choirs and bar bands? These people had to be the only 10,000 people in the city who can’t sing a note.
One of the bands I play harmonica with has a woman who is an incredible singer. Luckily both bands I play for have good singers but this girl has some serious pipes. I mean she is great. We didn’t know how lucky we were to have her. Now we do.
This woman does a lot of Sheryl Crowe songs – and I like Sheryl Crowe – except that she does them better than Sheryl Crowe. She can sound just like Linda Rondstadt. And she does it without any of that annoying pitch, listen-to-me-sing-all-over-the-place-Christine Agulera –crap that is so over.
It is painful for me to watch the idiots try out for "AI". That poor big girl who auditioned because she could sound like the Cowardly lion in the “Wizard of Oz?” Not to brag, but I can do a dead-on Cowardly Lion impression and I wouldn’t try out for “American Idol” if you threatened me with death if I didn’t. She broke my heart. She even made a little “Wizard of Oz” sign for Simon, Jewel, that dog guy and Paula and they didn’t want it. It broke my heart but doesn’t that poor, sweet girls have anyone who could give her tough love to tell her not to make a fool out of herself?
But the other morons are fun to hate. It gives you an idea how overly-entitled we are when people who cannot sing a single damn note are infuriated that they did not make the cut. Not only that, but they go into it positive that they will win the whole thing.
Listen, it is easy to sit back and do nothing and criticize, that is why the show is so amazingly popular. The people who try out are at least doing something. How about the countless millions of losers who also can’t sing but who sit on their fat asses insulting the people who try? They are the true silent majority big time losers.
Don’t make me quote Teddy Roosevelt again on how it’s not the poor, cold timid souls of the bitter critics who count. Oh, no I dih-ent, here I go again:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
You go, Ted-Bear, you go. You cold and timid souls know who you are, Dil Dolan and Stupor Stenchie.
posted by Alex at
7:41 AM
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